Another year, another fresh round of Floyd County Health Department lies.

On the topic of Boomtown last Sunday, which was a fabulous success as a first-year music festival in downtown New Albany, I cannot put it to rest without mentioning the invaluable performance of the Floyd County Health Department.

Last year, the appropriately festooned Red Shi(r)ts specifically informed beer vendors that hand sanitizer and wet wipes were sufficient to pour draft beers, along with a non-statutory-based permit that is 100% bogus according to no less an authority than the Indiana attorney general himself (a ruling the FCHD refuses to heed). Now, the very same bureaucrats say we must have a hot water hand washing station, and in familiarly Orwellian fashion, they state that this was true last year, too -- just like last year, they said they'd always been enforcing fraudulent permits, when a public records request showed they hadn't.

That's why, as an entity, the FCHD is a lying piece of mongrel cur's feces -- and you can tell 'em I said so. Seeking to usurp the natural order of the state's regulatory division of responsibility is one thing; being unable to tell the truth ups the ante.

Last evening at Bicentennial Park, the brew crew assembled an insulated plastic drinking water cooler and a pail, filling the cooler with water from the hot liquor tank. Earlier in the day, our serving partners at Irish Exit had been told that one such station would suffice for the three vendors working under NABC's supplemental catering permit -- this coming after the roly-poly timer-server who visited us at Boomtown insisted that each participant have a station (how many lies does this make?)

Staff awaited the arrival of the inspector, who turned out to be the very same engorged fellow. He mumbled a few things to Irish Exit's workers and ignored NABC entirely, walking away without so much looking at the crucial addition.

Which means he didn't give us the yellow copy of his thumbs-up public health report, like the stack from last year, not a single one of which made the slightest mention of a hot water hand washing station.

I want my damned yellow sheet. Paper trails are important for bureaucrats, but they're even more important for potential lawsuits. You don't think I've forgotten the e coli references on the department's web site, have you?