Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Pete Coors 1: We have an "algorithm and an app" to verify our rotary dial of a light beer.

Nothing the scion of swill says in this passage applies exclusively to the "premium light" brands of watery alco-pop his companies and his brethren produce.

Pete Coors 2: "We bought a craft brewery in Georgia" and can Keystone it as we please.

Given that bar owners worth their salt are replacing crap with craft on tap, and relegating "premium light" to bottles and cans in the back bar cooler (seems like a "fact" to me), as a response to palpable demand, Pete's "research" comes off somewhat tainted. Bar owners can switch brand loyal customers to bottles and cans because brand loyal customers are neutered drones, locked into a dreary towpath, and unwilling to change.

But even if we accept the Coors flailing as legitimate in the context of dinosaur death throes, keeping a customer in his seat an extra 18 minutes (not 17, and not 19) might just as likely be achieved by combining the best of both virtues; keep a genuine session beer on tap, one that is lower in ABV and milder, yet flavorful, fills that stool for another pint and resists the Silver Bullet's fundamental vapidity ... at a higher return, no less.

Pete Coors can blow it out his reactionary ass. The sooner the dinosaurs are extinct, the better.

Pete Coors, big beer industry continues to grapple with craft beers, by Jeremy Meyer (Denver Post)

... “Basically the biggest trouble we have is on-premise sales,” he said. “We have a lot of bar owners who are enamored with craft beers. They are beginning to take off the premium light handles and putting bottles behind the bar instead and replacing the handles with craft beer handles. We lose 50 percent of our volume when that happens.”

The company is trying to compel bar owners to keep their beers on tap by impressing them with facts.

“We have done research that shows it’s not in the economic benefit for a bar to do that,” he said. “Having a premium light brand, whether it’s Coors, Miller or Bud on tap actually improves the economics of their business. People stay in their seats an average of 18 minutes longer when they have a light premium beer on tap. That means they are spending more money, leaving bigger tips. We have a little algorithm and an app that we give to our distributors to evaluate and analyze these businesses and bars.”

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