Sunday, February 10, 2013

Forecastle, Sierra Nevada and conveniently variable localism: Dude desperately needing an editor just can't seem to find a clue.

Previously on this topic: Sierra Nevada, Forecastle and "localism": When Michael Tierney writes about beer, it's a non-insider embarrassment.

Somewhere amid more than 2,000 meandering, star-struck words devoted to once again missing the point about localism – and while I’m at it, ye gods, can Insider Louisville arrange an editor for this guy – our befuddled "local" music writer returns to rationalize Forecastle’s mass-market financing imperatives in a discussion of which top national headlining acts could generate enough festival torque so that little shards of leftover jack might waft ever so gently into the local economy, compelling us to fall to our knees in praise of Forecastle’s benevolence as we beg of Michael Tierney, please, sir, may we have another (choose one: reaming; pretzel twist of illogic; appearance by Jack White)?

Bear in mind that it’s the same Michael Tierney who recently took WFPK-89.3 to task for not playing enough local music on locally-supported radio.

But how much is our “cool & hip” radio station doing for our local scene? As an independent station that operates from donations – from its listeners to local businesses – 91.9 WFPK should know how important keeping things local is for our city. Local support = local growth, and 91.9 isn’t tending to the garden out back.

Ah, but when it comes to Forecastle, it's off to the big-box, and these small-time local gardening principles evidently no longer apply. They were forgotten at the 300-word mark. In fact, we quickly learn that when it comes to local-oriented music and beer, size really does matter.

The coming big news hinted by the festival via Twitter and Facebook means one thing: The lineup is on the way, and it could be big.

Altogether now, let's do the Wave: Ooooh … aaaahhh. Ooooh … aaaahhh. Or, to summarize, the bigger and more non-local Forecastle gets, the better for all things local. Tierney hasn’t caught his breath since he single-handedly broke the epochal news that when local festivals acquire big dollar sponsorships, everything changes!

On Thursday, we broke news of Forecastle Festival’s new sponsor, Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. With a major sponsor, Forecastle looks to take it up a notch. Bigger sponsors mean bigger acts, bigger crowds, bigger revenue for not only the festival but for many businesses in the Louisville area. And that includes Southern Indiana.

(Hmm, wonder toward whom the “Southern Indiana” reference is aimed?)

What was that?

How do greater profits for a nationally-banked “local” music festival help us little folks to fatten up and prosper?

Glad you asked, because if you thought trickle-down economics went out of fashion following the nadir of the Ronnie Ray-Gun Er-ror, think again. Tierney the musical localist embraces bait ‘n’ switch/double-trickle-down economics as veritable salvation for genuinely local independent businesses excluded from Forecastle’s fiscal model.

Holly Weyler had this big news for us: “(We’re) expecting around 75,000 over the weekend in 2013.” 75,000! In case you can’t do the math, that is 25,000 a day over July 12 to July 14 … Big time sponsors are creating a bigger Forecastle “pie” that will allow more, and bigger serving sizes for local bands and businesses; pretty simple economics. So, while the craft beer community lost out on selling beer inside the fest, and a shot of being a sponsor, Sierra Nevada, and other sponsors to come will prove that more resources, leads to larger crowds, leads to larger revenue- a true attempt at trickle down economics that should work for the city, and its businesses.

The needle on the Orgasm Tracking Meter just snapped; Tierney's “In case you can’t do the math” would be admirably ironic, if he was in on the joke. Amid his "national big bucks charitably begets the little hardscrabble local people” trickle-down argument, there’s a sop graciously tossed in the direction of local craft brewers.

Business is going to be booming in the Louisville area July 12 through July 14, and in particular downtown Louisville, with maybe one of the largest urban gatherings this city has seen to date. That’s why the Sierra Nevada sponsorship is exciting for Louisville businesses in their entirety, and that includes craft brewers. Not only will their restaurants sell out, their beer will be discovered by out of towners in the bars throughout the city.


Five daily prayers in Forecastle’s direction aren’t enough?

You mean that once we’re finished kissing J.K. McKnight’s butt, we have to turn the rugs around to face Chico, California (or is it Asheville, NC, or Lima, Peru), too? My knees are sore enough already.

But he's not through yet. There’s more. With the Forecastle team artfully planting its Sierra Nevada sponsorship “leak” with self-appointed media savant Tierney, and this stunning revelation eliciting rounds of yawns and periodic expressions of annoyance, now the very same Forecastle team reassures those of Tierney's long-suffering readers who somehow have remained awake – not local brewers, by the way, who’ve yet to be included in any of these top-level chats by Louisville's highest rollers – that they’re right on top of everything and have been all along.

Plus, the Forecastle team responded to our leak, and gave word that their will be local beer representation at Forecastle, and there will also be local spirits (bourbon) for those craving the harder stuff. Now we’ve taken care of business, let’s get to the fun stuff – who might play Forecastle in 2013.

That's right, the "fun" stuff, and just like that, (poof!), Tierney merrily waves away the objections. The alms duly will be drizzled, because Forecastle can do no wrong, and we may now unite for the ritualistic singing of “We Are The World,” as we gather at the river to do what’s best for the local economy by relegating the local economy to third-tier status out back, behind the reeking latrine, by the servant’s quarters, because the most important task ahead of us in Possibility City is to Hire the Best Damned National Headliner to trickle down as much as possible.

After all, as even Tierney himself grasps in closing his seemingly endless piece:

We’ll have to save Louisville bands for later ….

Do we ever.

And the beer, too.

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