Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Velocity returns with more on the wonders of light beer ... c'mon, is Miller paying for this?

When last we peeked into the world of Velocity, the Courier-Journal’s weekly ad-driven alternative wannabe corporate paean to cluelessness as a demographic preference – a place where relevance crawls off to die – it really wasn’t pretty.

Dec. 21, 2006: Velocity on beer: It's like Jerry Falwell on morality.

(Wait … “wasn’t pretty,” mumbled the Curmudgeon. Didn’t I just see that phrase somewhere earlier today … it’s Wednesday … ohmigod … )

January 3, 2007: Lighten Up: We went into the light beer fray to bring home the scoop on the best low-calorie options, by Danielle Bermingham.

In the interest of keeping you January resolutionaries on point and in pints, I've adjusted my taste buds to hunt for a light beer with taste. I won't lie to you; it wasn't easy, and it wasn't pretty. It was, however, quite filling, despite claims to the contrary.

Although it’s hard to say it while keeping some semblance of a straight face, the article isn’t as bad as it might lead one to believe given the mixed metaphor of a banner.

Scoop? That’s for ice cream writing, but at least the staffer approaches her chosen task, an utterly thankless one, with requisite disclaimers, and concludes with this:

It's important to remember that light beers are generally only saving you 30-60 calories per beer. Unless you plan to get blotto, maybe a couple of good beers are worth the extra 60 calories. Live a little.

I could have told her, and saved the 1,000-word slog: Lite never makes right.


antzman said...

I just wonder if they will start a series of articles on wine, discussing the virtues of Night Train, Boone's Farm and Thunderbird.

It seems right up the same alley as this writing.

The New Albanian said...

Succinct and true, Todd.

But consider the readership. Wouldn't want to challenge that group, would we?

smoosh said...

I thought they did okay. They never claimed to like the brews they were trying. I really liked this quote - "finding a decent light beer is a bit like finding a decent rice cake". Roger, you should invite them in for a Hoptimus and a Thunderfoot and ... well, that would probably do it.