Velocity returns with more on the wonders of light beer ... c'mon, is Miller paying for this?

When last we peeked into the world of Velocity, the Courier-Journal’s weekly ad-driven alternative wannabe corporate paean to cluelessness as a demographic preference – a place where relevance crawls off to die – it really wasn’t pretty.

Dec. 21, 2006: Velocity on beer: It's like Jerry Falwell on morality.

(Wait … “wasn’t pretty,” mumbled the Curmudgeon. Didn’t I just see that phrase somewhere earlier today … it’s Wednesday … ohmigod … )

January 3, 2007: Lighten Up: We went into the light beer fray to bring home the scoop on the best low-calorie options, by Danielle Bermingham.

In the interest of keeping you January resolutionaries on point and in pints, I've adjusted my taste buds to hunt for a light beer with taste. I won't lie to you; it wasn't easy, and it wasn't pretty. It was, however, quite filling, despite claims to the contrary.

Although it’s hard to say it while keeping some semblance of a straight face, the article isn’t as bad as it might lead one to believe given the mixed metaphor of a banner.

Scoop? That’s for ice cream writing, but at least the staffer approaches her chosen task, an utterly thankless one, with requisite disclaimers, and concludes with this:

It's important to remember that light beers are generally only saving you 30-60 calories per beer. Unless you plan to get blotto, maybe a couple of good beers are worth the extra 60 calories. Live a little.

I could have told her, and saved the 1,000-word slog: Lite never makes right.