Thursday, December 21, 2006

Velocity on beer: It's like Jerry Falwell on morality.

What can be said about the journalism style necessitated by the target demographic of a weekly lifestyles supplement to a wretchedly corporate newspaper that more accurately describes the conceptual futility therein than the fact that a Starbucks coffee concoction merits inclusion in a column bearing the title “One Great Dish”?

Of course, I speak of Velocity -- and wish I didn't have to do it.

This week there's a “beer primer,” one inspired not by sensibly visiting the many establishments in metro Louisville that are capable of providing a range of beers (and, presumably, which advertise in Velocity), but by a trip to the Flying Saucer in Nashville.

The less said by the Curmudgeon, the better. Read it here:

From Pilsner to Porter
What is the difference between a lager and an ale? Check our beer primer and raise your pint IQ.

When finished, vote for your favorite sections in the comments section below. Here’s mine:

Pilsner: Golden, light, dry and bottom-fermented, this form of lager is technically required to be of "super-premium" quality.


David R. Pierce said...

I have two favorites:
From the Brewing Terms section:
Fermentation: Yeast eats the sugars in the grains and converts it to alcohol and acid. Beer is born! Should read "converts to alcohol and Co2".

And from the beer descriptions:
Flying Dog Gonzo Imperial Porter features a Hunter S. Thompson-inspired label designed by Gonzo artist Ralph Steadman. Unfortunately, that's the best part of this porter. It pours with such a heavy head it looked like a glass of toffee-colored batter. Exceptionally bitter, "it is worst than the beer they make in prison," according to one taster. Please don't hand this beautiful bottle to a porter newbie; he or she will never go near dark beer again. And don't hand one to me, either
While not my favorite porter, it is certainly not "worst" than any prison beer I've tasted...

antzman said...

I read this ridiculous article the other day when a store patron pointed it out. I guess if you like watered down porters, their choice is fine, but to deny Bell's Porter and Gonzo Porter in its stead? That's like choosing a Miller Lite over a Pilsner Urquell. Sure, they slightly resemble each other, but they are worlds apart in quality and taste.

antzman said...

Sorry, I forgot my favorite quote:

"Pedigree aside, it looks just like cola " when speaking of the Flag Porter....

That's just what I look for in a beer. I wonder if it looks like Coke Classic, or the new Coke... or maybe Pepsi Clear?

David R. Pierce said...

And one more favorite:

Lager: Smoother and crisper, these bottom-fermented beers aren't as sweet as ales. If you're American, you probably prefer lagers.

So what if you don't like lager, are you unamerican?

smoosh said...

I had to read this one about 5 times:

became the first nationwide style of beer in the world.