Enjoy this clearly rendered, impassioned testimony from former Bulgarian communist leader Todor Zhivkov … no, wait; it’s actually emanating from the personal word processor of Anheuser-Busch’s somewhat boy wonderish August “Four Sticks” Busch, the company’s head honcho, and he who is incessantly promoted by the corporation's Pyongyang-educated shills as a specialist in all aspects of beer.
Didn’t he invent the aluminum alloy used in the company’s cans? Maybe, maybe not, but as this paragraph clearly illustrates, he sure knows how to talk pretty about beer.
"The positive outlook is based on the favourable pricing environment, our broadened US beer portfolio to access high-margin growth opportunities, successful productivity improvement initiatives that are mitigating cost pressures and enhanced earnings contributions from our international beer segment."
Gee. If that's not love, I don't know what is.
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4 comments:
Wow, now that is good business speak. I hear that he drives a Volvo, too.
Gotta throw a flag for "piling on" here, Rog. I share your disdain for corporate swill and the mega-marketing that turned an entire nation of beer drinkers into lite lemmings. However, Mr. Busch was making a statement about the business side of brewing, and was being quoted in an industry publication which largely focuses on the same.
Of course, it sounded ridiculously sterile and dispassionate, but he wasn't being asked about the esoterics of the brewer's art. He was being queried regarding quarterly financials. I would be willing to wager a pint that Jim Koch, Ken Grossman, Sam Calagione, or Steve Wagner would sound just as robotic in discussing the dollars-and-cents side of their breweries. They just happen to also make fantastic beers.
The Augustus's of the world are a big enough (and deserving enough) target without taking cheap shots drawn from out-of-context statements.
Damn it, Jim, I'm a polemicist -- not a doctor!
Damn it Roger, you made me look up Polemicist.... I hate having to do work!
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