Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Another NA (non-alcoholic) election day.

(Crossposted at NA Confidential)

Don’t forget:

You must have an ID to vote – and to get served after you vote.

Don't forget:

If you're looking for a polling place, call the Floyd County Democratic Party at 812-207-7941.

Don't forget:

To quote Groucho Marx, when the taps finally open at 6:00 p.m., there'll be "dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor," at least until the sad reality of Dan Coffey's inevitable victory over write-in candidate Skittles the Cat begins to sink in. I'll likely be at Connor's Place for celebration and commiseration.

You've forgotten: The following first ran on May 2, 2006.


Another election day is here, and with it eleven hours of state-mandated prohibition against the sale of demon rum.

Presumably, this unwelcome vestige of an otherwise discredited social policy serves as a bulwark against the horrific possibility that unscrupulous politicos or their conniving agents might swap half-pints of Kessler (or a similarly valued slopping spree at a downtown tavern) in exchange for a poor wretch’s vote.

As there exists no commensurate prohibition against the sale of strong black coffee, chocolate-covered Krispy Kremes and hickory-smoked bacon, apparently the veiled but very real threat of breakfast-induced bribery is not worthy of the same scrutiny as that posed by the insidious grape and the grain.

If you’re hopelessly intoxicated after ingesting that half-pint of Kessler, are you really any more destructive to democracy than the perfectly sober voter who is following instructions provided by a fundamentalist preacher who has promised not temporal inebriation, but a favorable reference when the time comes to take up residence in heaven?

Nope, me thinks you're not. We hope you thought ahead and visited your favorite package store on Monday night.

Cheers ...

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