"When it comes to drunk driving, America may have a bigger driving problem than a drinking problem."

It's a clever argument, and there's a lot of truth to it, though for anyone growing up in a sparsely populated rural area (like me), the annoyance of being forced to drive long distances to drinking spots, then be concerned about the risks of driving back home while soused, is something that became evident for the first time during the Carter Administration.

Yes, one might remain sober long enough to transport alcoholic beverages to the country manor house, except that bedroom drinking in your pajamas rarely is conducive to being rejected by women and tangled up in barroom brawls, both of which are simply critical when it comes to learning how to interact with people as opposed to their television sets.

Beginning in 1985, urban experiences in Europe changed me forever, and I no longer wished to drive a car in association with my alcohol habit. The imperative became getting situated in a real urban neighborhood, and turning me loose to walk and bike to the pub. In fact, both houses I've played a role in purchasing since 1994 came about because they were in proximity to business and beer -- whether working, drinking or both.

Placement wasn't dumb luck. It was pure intent. As luck would have it, now that I live a few blocks away from numerous bars and restaurants in downtown New Albany, most of my reduced drinking is done at home ... with my wife, who hasn't yet rejected me.

Anything's possible, even reasonable zoning.

MOTHERS AGAINST DRUNK DRIVING SHOULD ALSO BE AGAINST ZONING, by Joshua McCarty at Strong Towns.

WHY DO BARS HAVE PARKING LOTS IF WE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO DRIVE HOME?

When it comes to drunk driving, America may have a bigger driving problem than a drinking problem. Sometimes I tell people that I became a planner in order to ensure everyone can safely imbibe and safely get home. When you step back and think about it though, how well do we really consider our development decisions regarding drinking establishments? I contend that the way typical code treats drinking establishments is indicative of the kind of misguided positivism that is pervasive in modern planning. The kind of prescriptive guidance that can specify how many trees you need in a parking lot but completely misses the simple practical relationship between how people use the site and their ability to stay safe. Modernist standardization erases the creativity and common sense that come from small scale solutions.

I have never understood how a zoning code could, in good faith, permit a drinking establishment that could only possibly be reached by car ...

Dirty lines, payola and hijinks? Only since the dawn of human history.

As usual, the opposing social media camps quickly coalesced, and we were advised to move quickly to one bloc or the other by shunning the bribe takers or ostracizing the embittered brewery.

Payola? Fact of life and a feature of capitalism. The best antidote has been, and remains, a consistent conceptual program at the point of dispense, augmented by principle and integrity. There'll never be any system of commerce capable of eliminating palm-greasings, so we might as well get over it and do the best we can.

My question: When supply of a product, the success of which is predicated on expanding distribution in a tightly regulated marketplace, explodes at a rate greater than available dispensing outlets ... aren't we designing a situation tailor-made for the abuses of payola?

BEER BRIBERY, by Aaron Goldfarb (Esquire)

One brewer has cried foul on breweries that pay off bars to serve their beers

With around 3000 breweries now in America producing tens of thousands of beers, I bet you wonder how a bar could possibly choose what to put on their few taps. Of course, we all know some bars prefer the kind of corporate swill that their non-demanding customers can drink a lot of on the cheap. While other, more scrutinizing spots surely opt for local offerings and the absolute best craft beer they can possibly land. But what if I told you something more insidious is actually going on?

Last night while you were sleeping—or closing down a bar—Dann Paquette, co-founder and brewer for Pretty Things Beer & Ale Project out of Cambridge, Massachusetts, decided to blow the whistle on an illegal practice going on right before our very beer-soaked eyes. In a series of Tweets under the brewery’s handle, Paquette revealed that Boston is a “pay to play town and we're often shut out for draft lines along with many beers you may love.”

What’s “pay to play”? It’s when breweries bribe bars under the table to stock their beers and freeze out competition and is, according to the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau regulations, an illegal practice.

Of a few taverns past, and some new ones on the way.

Here in New Albany, the shortest way to drive from the vicinity of my Midtown home to the Charlestown Road corridor north of I-265 is to proceed first to Vincennes Street, than hang a right onto Charlestown Road and follow it all the way out.

Doing so, you'll pass a vacant spot by Silver Street where Steinert's Tavern  used to stand before it burned down a few years back. It eventually restarted downtown, but folded. All told, it was one of New Albany's oldest drinking establishments.

A bit further up Charlestown Road, on the right side at Slate Run Road, there stands a modern strip mall on the site of what was called the Lone Star (I believe in olden times it was a lumberyard), then became a Tumbleweed some time around 1983, when the Tex-Mex chain still was local. It burned about a decade back, and was demolished.

Another mile down Charlestown Road at the Blackiston Mill Road intersection are the foundations of Sam's Food & Spirits, which occupied the spot from about 1985 through 2013; it burned just before Christmas, and was recently torn down. Before it was Sam's, it was Ye Olde Mill Inn, the Gasthaus, and for decades prior, the Fourth Dam Tavern.

I turned 21 in 1981, and from that point through 1987, when I first began hanging out at Sportstime Pizza five years before actually joining the business, probably 95% of my drinking occurred at Steinert's (until I was kicked out in a dispute over a salt shaker), Tumbleweed, Sam's and the K & H Cafe in Lanesville. Only the latter never burned, and although the bar business there never ceased being operational (it's Big Momma's nowadays), I haven't been inside since the Schneiders retired in the early 1990s.

My dwelling on these memories may have something to do with aging, or with the revelation that an old, dilapidated tavern building near my house is slated for the wrecking ball:

Some of the taverns at 922 Culbertson, from 1937-1996.

What happens to the ghosts of drinkers past when the buildings go away? Must they find a new spot to haunt?

Of more a optimistic orientation are these stories of impending debuts. Great Flood has started brewing, with NABC's David Pierce providing some helpful hints.

VIDEO: Louisville’s Newest Brewery – Great Flood Brewing

... and three other food and drink businesses on the way have caught my eye. Big Four Burgers is owned by Matt McMahan, who also owns Irish Exit in New Albany:

Big Four Burgers eyeing more in downtown New Albany

In Louisville, there's another branch of the BBC empire coming:

BBC-run Brewhouse to replace Dark Star on Frankfort

Finally, where the epochal Maido used to be, comes a new Japanese eatery:

Old Maido location to re-open as Bar Code 1758, featuring Japanese fare

Will the beer selection at Bar Code 1758 come close to what Jim used to stock at Maido? We boys (and girls) can dream -- of old and new watering holes, and of wasabi and Hop Slam speedballs.

Keep your gun out of my bar, please. Thank you. Can we drink now?

I live in a Third World country, but there'll be no scoffing from me in the sense of noting, "well, it's Kentucky, after all." That's because Indiana is little better when it comes to bizarre concepts; witness HJR-3/6.

Kentucky Senate OKs Bill Allowing Concealed Carry Permit-Holders to Bring Guns into Bars, by Stu Johnson (Kentucky Public Radio)

FRANKFORT — Legislation that would allow people with concealed carry permits to bring firearms into bars and restaurants is on its way to the Kentucky House.

The state Senate passed the measure Thursday by a 30 to 4 vote. State Sen. John Schickel says he believes Senate Bill 60 is about the right to defend oneself. He told fellow senators that crime rates and gun-related accidents have fallen since concealed carry laws were established.

A few years back, I was phoned from Bank Street Brewhouse. Seems that someone was in the bar with a gun -- and he wasn't a police officer. The gun was in a holster, fully on display. Diners were uncomfortable. The explanation slowly unfolded; staff had expressed gentle displeasure with his choice of outerwear, and the drinker replied that it was too bad, but he had a permit, and could do when and where as he pleased.

Of course, I can walk down the street naked. Just because I can, doesn't mean I will; after all, I have a measure of respect for the sensibilities of my fellow human beings, even the Lite drinkers.

So, who's going to be the one to volunteer to tell the guy with the gun that guns are not permitted at the bar? That's what I thought. Did we comp him just to be rid of the discomfort? Sounds like quite the racket to me.

I grew up around guns, and as an adult, I'd prefer guns not be around me. Like Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce of television's M*A*S*H ...

I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!

To, me, firearms are roughly akin to cars, sports and Viagra as penile enhancement devices, and I already have a penis, thanks. Pieces of machinery (including fermenters) generally are value-neutral, their performance dependent on the guiding mind of humans. Conversely, human minds infected with machismo, conspiracy theories, hatred and just plain variable mental health issues offer as much cause to be frightened as the typical armed robber, who after all, just wants my money.

But, I'm no prohibitionist. My own professional world of alcoholic beverages symbolizes "legal but heavily regulated," and that strikes me as utterly appropriate. You need a gun to cope, and I need a bottle. More alcoholic beverages to redress alcoholism? I'll get right on it. Whatever gets you through your life, it's all right.

You can do as you please, with this caveat: Keep your gun out of my bar, please.

Thank you.

Food, drink, etc -- New Albany indies "inside the beltway."

NABC's graphics department, otherwise known as staff artist Tony Beard, has been updating the map normally situated to the left of the Bank Street Brewhouse door. I've helped him assemble this list, the purpose of which is to provide quasi-accurate food and drink information to passers-by. In the eventuality that we are not open on a particular day or at a certain time, it is that visitors will patronize another establishment and keep their expenditures local.

The main target is downtown because that's within short driving and walking (or biking) distance, but listings have been expanded to include independent local food and drink businesses inside the beltway. Take a look at the updated list. What are we missing?

Coffee

“Earth Friends Café & Coffee Bar” 3211 Grant Line Road (at Summit Square) 812-725-9393

“Quills Coffee” (coming in November 2011) 137 East Market Street

“Hobknobb Roasting Company” 419 State Street New Albany, IN 47150 (812) 944-4555 (also maintains a kiosk in the NA-FC Public Library)

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Sweets & Ice Cream

“Honey Creme Donut Shop” 514 Vincennes Street 812-945-2150

“Rookies Cookies” 310 Pearl Street (812) 948-8858

“Sweet Stuff Bakery” 323 East Spring Street 812-948-2507

“Zesto Ice Cream” (seasonal) 2740 Charlestown Road 812-944-6845

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Classic Taverns

“B & B Pub & Grill” 1423 Culbertson Avenue 812-725-9955

“Hitching Post Tavern” 115 West Market Street 812-945-8854

“Hugh E. Bir’s Cafe” 324 East Market Street 812-945-8884

“Pastime Grill & Pub” 424 East Market Street 812-945-9055

“Uptown Bar” 330 Vincennes Street 812-945-1850

“Vic’s Cafe” 1839 East Market Street 812-944-4338

“Vickie's Good Times Bar” 114 East Market Street 812-941-8000

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Package Beer, Wine and Liquor (no food)

“Bottles Unlimited” 427 State Street 812-945-6765 (also owns Uptown Liquors at 609 Vincennes Street)

“Bridge Liquors” 110 Knable Lane 812-949-6396

“Keg (New Albany)” 302 Pearl Street Suite B 812-948-0444

“Sunset Spirits” 2706 Paoli Pike 812-944-4031

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Pool Halls

“Jack’s” 3308 Plaza Drive 812-948-1600 FULL BAR/BAR FOOD

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Restaurants (with alcoholic beverages)

“(The) Bank Fusion Cuisine and Lounge” 203 East Main 812-944-1929 FUSION/LOUNGE/NIGHTCLUB

“Feast BBQ” (coming in Spring 2012) 116 West Main Street BARBECUE

"Habana Blues" 148 East Market St 812-944-9760 CUBAN

"(The) Irish Exit" 207 East Main Street 812-944-1929 IRISH PUB

“La Bocca Restaurant” 134 East Market Street 812-725-9495 ITALIAN

"La Rosita Mexican Grill" 336 Pearl Street 812-944-3620 MEXICAN

"Louis Le Français" 133 East Market Street 812-944-1222 FRENCH

“Mac’s Hideaway” 1636 Slate Run Road 812-945-4256 PUB GRUB

“NA Exchange pub + kitchen” 3306 Plaza Drive 812-948-6501 GASTROPUB

“NABC Bank Street Brewhouse” 415 Bank Street 812-725-9585 BREWERY/CONTEMPORARY AMERICAN … carry-out beer sales on Sunday

“River City Winery” 321 Pearl Street 812-945-9463 WINERY/ CONTEMPORARY AMERICAN … carry-out wine sales on Sunday

“Sam’s Food & Spirits” 3800 Payne Koehler Road 812-945-9757 AMERICAN

“Toast on Market” 141 East Market Street 812-941-8582 CONTEMPORARY BREAKFAST/LUNCH

“Tucker’s American Favorites” 2441 State Street 812-944-9999 SPORTS BAR

“Wick’s Pizza” 225 State Street 812-945-9425 PIZZA

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Restaurants (without alcoholic beverages)

“Dock Seafood” 1125 State Street 812-944-2951 FISH & SEAFOOD

“Jackson's Seafood” 400 West Main Street 812-945-3474 FISH & SEAFOOD

“Hing Wang Chinese Restaurant” 2123 Spring Street 812-542-2728 CHINESE

“Lancaster Cafeteria” 223 West 5th Street 812-949-2400 HOME COOKING

“Little Chef” 147 East Market Street 812-949-7567 CLASSIC DINER

Bar Belle: "Liquor here, liquor there, liquor in New Albany."

LEO's Sara "Bar Belle" Havens caught the News and Tribune's August 31 news story about expanding New Albany's downtown riverfront development area to make possible more special three-way alcohol permits. She also took the opportunity to praise the local scene.

Liquor here, liquor there, liquor in New Albany

The New Albany mayor may help speed up the process of attaining liquor licenses for new businesses planned for the riverfront.

More bars/restaurants = good

Faster new bars/restaurants = awesome

If you haven’t been over to New Albany in a while, there are some great things happening. I went to River City Winery a few weeks ago, and it was great. The wine was decent and the food was yummy (brick oven-style pizzas). Also on my Favs of New Albany list are NA Exchange, Rich O’s, Pizza King, Tucker’s and La Rosita (which just opened a second location in Louisville at Floyd and Market).

Habana Blues recently joined La Rosita in migrating second locations southward, and taken in concert with NABC's bomber bottle distribution in Jefferson County, this represents an unprecedented New Albanian cultural invasion across the Mason-Dixon line. The fact that we're accompanied by recruits from Mexico and Cuba gives the enterprise a pleasingly multi-national feel.

I'll know more about the status of the three-way debate on Thursday night, when the amendment is discussed at the Marx Brothers comedy revival otherwise known as our twice-monthly city council meeting. I'm for it, although the timing has me a bit confused, and as usual, the topic has revealed New Albany's dysfunctional socio-political fault lines. I've written more at NA Confidential:

Riverfront three-ways: Alcoholic beverages vs. square meals?

CeeSaw whiffs on a fat pitch as council considers expanding the booze zone.

Readers: Who'd like a bar?

Have a look at these photos, and then I'll explain.

My father hand-built this bar circa 1970 from bits and pieces of wood left over from the construction of our house in Georgetown. It formed the centerpiece of his basement lounge, which these days would be called a man cave. After he died, most of his barroom furnishings were brought to my current home in New Albany. At first, the bar was brought to the back room of Prost, at the Pizzeria & Pub. As remodeling progressed there, it became redundant, was reloaded onto the pickup, and pointed toward Spring Street.

The bar was very barely squeezed through the back door on the ground floor, and while we have plenty of square footage in the house as a whole, there really isn't a place to permanently put it. It's a tough decision to make, but we need the space where the bar now stands, and about the only alternative a see is putting it up for adoption.

No charge; just haul it away (stools included) and promise me it will be put to good use, and I'm fine with it. I'll even clean out the junk currently stuffed into it. My e-mail's in the profile. Thanks.

Renbarger’s Brewhaus replaces Dublin Cellar on Baxter as the wheel is given another spin.

Good scoop from Sara, the Bar Belle: Germans do it better? (fingers crossed).

The bar formerly known as Dublin Cellar (and Wet Willy’s and then just Willy’s) is changing its name, atmosphere and origin of choice once again — this time to Renbarger’s Brewhaus, a German-themed bar.

In theory, there’s always room in the markeplace for a competently executed concept -– witness the profusion of Irish pubs from Billings to Baluchistan.

However, the owner(s) of the spot most of us still associate with Willy’s have already failed to make a go of Irish blarney. Perhaps the failure of Dublin Cellar isn't unexpected given the close proximity of Molly Malone’s and O’Shea’s, two places that do Irish/Anglo fairly well. But in turn, doesn't this prompt legitimate speculation as to why an Irish theme was attempted in such a location in the first place?

Creativity, anyone?

Now the same management will retrofit the operation while the doors remain open. What are the criteria for a competently executed German theme, and does existing management have the expertise?

Color me skeptical, though it may not be all management's fault. The problem with German themes in American food and drink is that Americans generally know nothing about Germany save for cliches that pertain specifically to Bavaria, and the Bavarian “beer, pretzels and kraut” bit has been done to death in its common, purely stereotypical form - which isn't very flattering to reality on the ground in Bavaria.

In short, chances are that there won’t be very much truly German in a broader cultural sense about this new establishment. The beer will be the same lagers we see everywhere (as a hint, any "German" place selling St. Pauli Girl beer is out of the running), and the whole thing smacks of the random concept generator.

As always, I hope I’m wrong. I will give it a fair chance, and am ever prepared to eat my words.

If so, I'd like my words served with Senf, please -- the sweet kind that goes with Weisswurst, and not the spicier mustard more appropriate with Leberkase.

Stop by Connor's Place on Saturday and check out NA's newest downtown business.

(Crossposted at NA Confidential)

Exhausted proprietor Dave Himmel tells NAC that his Connor’s Place bar and eatery (207 E. Main Street, New Albany) has cleared all regulatory hurdles and will be open for “soft” business Saturday beginning around 11:00 a.m. Call for details at 812-944-0207.

It is located in the former Maytag Laundry building next to the Parthenon.

Please note that owing to the last minute delays and legalese, only a small selection of Dave’s anticipated food and drink choices will be available during the “soft” Saturday hours. NABC’s Elector and Community Dark are on tap, and will be joined by four as yet undetermined drafts (Franziskaner, et al) next week. For the time being, there’ll be pizza, appetizers beer and Dave’s gregarious personality.

See this previous posting for more details: Another new downtown New Albany beginning: Connor’s Place.