The Parting Glass (2006).

"The Parting Glass," a Scots/Irish traditional song, is referred to by some sources as a precursor to "Auld Lange Syne," and somehow fitting as we approach the end of another year. Thanks to my cousin Don Barry for introducing me to this music so long ago …

Of all the money e'er I had,
I spent it in good company.
And all the harm I've ever done,
Alas! it was to none but me.
And all I've done for want of wit
To mem'ry now I can't recall
So fill to me the parting glass
Good night and joy be with you all

Oh, all the comrades e'er I had,
They're sorry for my going away,
And all the sweethearts e'er I had,
They'd wish me one more day to stay,
But since it falls unto my lot,
That I should rise and you should not,
I gently rise and softly call,
That I should go and you should not,
Good night and joy be with you all.

If I had money enough to spend,
And leisure time to sit awhile,
There is a fair maid in this town,
That sorely has my heart beguiled.
Her rosy cheeks and ruby lips,
I own she has my heart in thrall,
Then fill to me the parting glass,
Good night and joy be with you all.

Pants Down Port Drinkers on December 28: A recap.

As previewed in November, the Pants Down Port Drinkers gathered at Prost on Thursday night for the annual holiday season’s tipples and nibbles.

Pants Down Port Drinkers to convene on Thursday, December 28 at the Public House.

In addition to numerous examples of the bottled and fortified pride of Portugal, we had other dessert-style drinks to savor: Six-year old Tokaj (Hungary); Lurgashall Tower of London, Scotch-infused mead; and Pome, a Calvados liqueur made with unfermented apple juice.

We enjoyed a superb selection of tasty appetizers to complement the libations. These included several salamis, pickled herring, and the culinary highlight of the session, an odiferous, creamy and utterly delectable goat cheese from Capriole Farms. I was transported to Europe, and didn't want to com back home.

Of the ports, it was difficult to choose a favorite, and I didn’t keep notes. Any time the table groans beneath the weight of multiple portions of 20-Year Tawny, you know you’ve come to the right place. As for surprises, Graham Phillips’ tasty white port from Quinta do Portal was an unexpected pleasure. Of course, there were others.

Although it has come to be a cherished part of the holiday season, our annual port tasting remains a very loosely organized, and is designed to stay that way. However, in response to popular demand, we intend to commence a spring and fall meet as well. These will be more structured, with specific ports chosen, and participation offered by subscription (probably limited to a certain number of people).

I’m organizing an April session, and Tim Eads will call the shots some time in the fall. Information will be posted here, and a mailing list also will be gathered.

Thanks to all those who attended this year’s event. Port may not be the best lubricant for my gout, but until something better comes along …

Saturnalia MMVI: On tap today (12/29/06) at NABC.

Saturnalia MMVI started two weeks ago, and stocks are rapidly depleting. Here's a snapshot as we enter the last two business days before New Year's Eve -- and take note, NABC will not be open on Sunday, December 31, or on Monday, January 1, and furthermore, there'll be no Indiana carry-out sales on either of these days thanks to indefensible and outmoded "blue laws."

As of Friday, December 29 at 1:00 p.m., Stone's Oaked Arrogant Bastard is on tap. We weren't supposed to get it, but did. Enjoy. Also, NABC's cask-conditioned Strathpeffer is pouring on the handp pump. Run, don't walk, to get a taste of Jesse's and Jared's honey and heather "gruit ale," which is absolutely delicious, and won't last long.

Finally, there is a keg of Rogue Chocolate Stout in house, and it will go on tap when the next American microbrew keg blows. Could be tonight. Could be tomorrow. Bring a sleeping bag.

**ON TAP NOW: SATURNALIA MMVI**

BELGIUM
De Dolle Stille Nacht

GERMANY
Aventinus Weizen Doppelbock
Spezial Rauchbier

UNITED KINGDOM
Hambleton Nightmare Yorkshire Porter
Ridgeway Lump of Coal

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
Anchor Christmas Ale (“Merry Christmas & Happy New Year”)
*Bell’s Hell Hath No Fury
*NABC Bonfire of the Valkyries (third keg)
*NABC Naughty Claus (fourth keg)
NABC Strathpeffer (heather/gruit ale; cask-conditioned; date TBA)
New Holland Blue Goat Doppelbock
New Holland Dragon’s Milk
Pyramid Snow Cap
Rogue HazelNut Brown Nectar
Rogue Santa’s Private Reserve (second keg)
*Schlafly Christmas Ale
Stone Double Bastard

----

**SELECTIONS STILL TO COME**

BELGIUM
St. Feuillien Cuvee de Noel
Regenboog Wostyntje Mustard Ale

JAPAN
Kiuchi Hitachino Nest New Year Celebration Ale 2006
Kiuchi Hitachino Nest Red Rice (will return)

UNITED KINGDOM
Ridgeway Santa’s Butt
Young's Winter Warmer

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
*Brooklyn Brewery Black Chocolate Stout (in transit)
Oaken Barrel Epiphany (in transit)

----

**PROBABLE SCRATCHES, I.E., “NO SHOW”**

BELGIUM
Corsendonk Christmas Ale
Gouden Carolus Noel
*Petrus Winter Ale

FRANCE
*Jenlain Biere de Noel

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
Dark Horse Tres Blueberry Stout
Flying Dog K-9 Cruiser

----

**SACRIFICED TO THE SOLSTICE**

BBC Hell for Certain
Delirium Noel
Great Divide Hibernation Ale
Harviestoun Old Engine Oil
Mahr’s Christmas Bock
N'Ice Chouffe
Ridgeway Seriously Bad Elf (another keg later)
Rogue Chocolate Stout (third of three kegs later)
*Shmaltz Monumental Jewbelation 5766 (one more 1/6 keg in January)
Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale (third keg gone; more to come later)
Three Floyds Alpha Klaus Xmas Porter (another keg later)
Three Floyds Dreadnaught IPA
Upland Winter Warmer

Part 2: A few random Saturnalia notes and observations, and the Scratch Report.

Wednesday was devoted to tidying up the loose Saturnalia ends, and although the results are sad, at least now we know the status of the listed selections.

First, good news: As reported yesterday, our annual keg of Stone’s Oaked Arrogant Bastard unexpectedly arrived, and it will be pouring this weekend (by Friday, December 29).

Also, Brooklyn Brewery Black Chocolate Stout and Oaken Barrel Epiphany are still expected to come, although their ETA’s are unknown.

Brooklyn Brewery’s entry is somewhere in the Midwest on a truck. Oaken Barrel’s was not shipped to World Class Beverages when expected, but there’s still a good chance that a keg will make its way a few miles north from Greenwood to WCB, then all the way south to us. Had I known it would be a problem, I’d have stopped and loaded the keg into the car when visiting Indianapolis two weeks ago – except, for you ATC-based readers, I know it’s illegal and would never dream of trying.

Time for the bad news.

The much anticipated Jenlain Biere de Noel was not to be found aboard the pre-Christmas Shelton Brothers shipment to Cavalier Distributing, Inc., but a keg of St. Druon de Sebourg, a blonde abbey-style ale also brewed by Duyck, actually did make the trip and will be the designated substitute for Jenlain in the Saturnalia rotation.

Flying Dog K-9 Cruiser is still considered a possibility for later in January. For now, we’re setting the contingency aside and will be happy if it comes to fruition.

Corsendonk Christmas Ale occupies a curious sub-category. It has been so easy to procure in the past that I saw no problem with making it part of the annual Thanksgiving week Saturnalia preview, and yet when I ordered another keg for the main event, it was gone. So, we had it – and we didn’t.

There was a wholesaler inventory listing for Gouden Carolus Noel, and it was not listed on the invoice as depleted when ordered, but it was not on the delivery truck, and has not since been found. Apparently all were sold before I placed my order. This one’s good enough that I’ll try to make a special order and re-list it for Gravity Head in March.

Straight up: Petrus Winter Ale and Dark Horse Tres Blueberry Stout are not coming. Scratch ‘em. Cavalier’s next shipment isn’t until January 10, and in addition to some of the encore kegs (see below), there’ll be a handful of specialties – not replacements, exactly, but a couple of fun items, including Mahr’s Ungespundet Lager, De Ranke XX Bitter and Achouffe La Gnomette.

The remaining Saturnalia selections are in stock at NABC, and waiting patiently to be connected and consumed:

De Dolle Stille Nacht (only 20 liters of the nectar)
Kiuchi Hitachino Nest New Year Celebration Ale 2006
Regenboog Wostyntje Mustard Ale
Ridgeway Santa’s Butt (first of two)
*Schlafly Christmas Ale (previewed earlier)
St. Feuillien Cuvee de Noel (first of two)
Young's Winter Warmer

These have blown, but more will be arriving for encores over the next few weeks:

Ridgeway Seriously Bad Elf (another 6-gal. keg coming)
Rogue Chocolate Stout (third of three kegs coming)
Rogue HazelNut Brown Nectar (second of two kegs coming)
Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale (third keg gone; more coming)
Three Floyds Alpha Klaus Xmas Porter (second of two coming)

Bona Saturnalia!

Part 1: A few random Saturnalia notes and observations.

Thanks to all those readers who’ve come by to taste this year’s winter solstice slate of special beers. Opening weekend was slower than expected, and since then, it’s been gratifying, indeed. Empties are piling up in the corridors.

As I’ve mentioned to many, it’s been a frustrating ordering cycle – rather like a yo-yo, with selections available, then unavailable, then back again.

Cases in point: Anchor Christmas Ale (“Merry Christmas & Happy New Year”) and Oaked Arrogant Bastard.

It appeared that none of Anchor's annual spicy, herbal holiday nectar, which is a longtime personal favorite, would be entering Indiana. However, the staff at World Class Beverages beat the bushes and found two kegs. One is on tap now, and another will follow it.

As for the Oaked Arrogant, I’d scratched it entirely and added an unexpected bonus second keg of Stone Double Bastard to the list, but after an e-mail exchange with Stone’s founder and mastermind, Greg Koch, a precious Oaked Arrogant barrel arrived. Sincere thanks to Greg for being the King, and in a benevolent way, and look for the seal to be broken by Friday, December 29.

Some listed selections won’t be coming, and others have reinforcements on the way. It’s crazy, and I hope to have an update by the weekend.

When I was selecting Saturnalia beers, it surprised me to see Hambleton Nightmare Yorkshire Porter available in regular keg form, as opposed to the cask-conditioned variety that we’ve poured at least twice previously since the cask cabinet first came on the Public House scene.

British-brewed ales inevitably, and in my view wrongly, suffer in comparison to American microbrews, especially when the judge is well-disposed toward extreme indigenous stylistic examples.

Consequently, several customers who’ve tried the Hambleton have expressed relative disappointment. They say it’s too light, too mild in alcohol content, too under-carbonated and too delicately flavored … and yes, all these qualities of a good cask Porter are certainly there, just not in sufficient volume to match a fondness for “robust” interpretations stateside.

All right, I know that for $6.75 a pint, perhaps there should be “more” to the beer. Rest assured that I didn’t arrive at the price without a measure of soul searching, but in the end, it represents the customary mark-up based on the wholesale price I must pay. Verily, these beers aren't getting any cheaper.

Staying in the UK, we’ve tasted two Ridgeway ales so far, Lump of Coal (on tap now) and Seriously Bad Elf (first keg gone), and both have been not only good, but considerably better than I remember from previous appearances.

Note that Ridgeway's Santa’s Butt, presumably exhausted after legal challenges and a full evening’s work three nights ago, awaits his turn at bat, and all three have second 6-gallon kegs coming in mid-January.

My last draft Lump of Coal perhaps two years back was a dry Stout that was oddly arid to the point of asphyxiation, and Seriously Bad Elf, from the ever escalating “damned bad elf and getting worse” series, admittedly was good in its last incarnation, but not brilliant. Both had flaws, were a tad cloudy, and seemed perhaps slightly mishandled in transit.

Happily, this year’s versions of both merit high acclaim. They’re bright (i.e., clear) and very fresh tasting. Seeing as the Ridgeway recipes call for heightened versions of traditional English styles, both deliver the flavor one would expect with the added bonus of greater heft. Seriously Bad Elf in particular takes the “winter warmer” formula into Double IPA territory, but without sacrificing the quintessential character (fruity, biscuity malt and classic English hops) of far milder ESB’s and bitter ales.

Think of Samuel Smith Winter Welcome -- with balls.

Coming Thursday: More Saturnalia thoughts.

Saturnalia MMVI - update ... on tap today (12/26/06).

Remember that some sacrificed kegs will be returning, and several kegs are in transit. Later this week, there should be a full rendering on which kegs still are expected, and which will not be coming to us. Stay tuned.

Today's special: The very last of our NABC Artemsia (cask conditioned, on the hand pump), for only $3 a pint.

GERMANY

Spezial Rauchbier

JAPAN

Kiuchi Hitachino Nest Red Rice

UNITED KINGDOM

Hambleton Nightmare Yorkshire Porter

Ridgeway Lump of Coal

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

Anchor Christmas Ale (“Merry Christmas & Happy New Year”)

BBC Hell for Certain

*Bell’s Hell Hath No Fury

Great Divide Hibernation Ale

*NABC Bonfire of the Valkyries (third keg)

*NABC Naughty Claus (fourth keg)

New Holland Blue Goat Doppelbock

New Holland Dragon’s Milk

Pyramid Snow Cap

Rogue Santa’s Private Reserve (second keg)

*Shmaltz Monumental Jewbelation 5766 (second 1/6 keg)

Stone Double Bastard

Upland Winter Warmer

**SELECTIONS STILL TO COME**

BELGIUM

• Corsendonk Christmas Ale
• De Dolle Stille Nacht
• Gouden Carolus Noel
• *Petrus Winter Ale
• St. Feuillien Cuvee de Noel
• Regenboog Wostyntje Mustard Ale

FRANCE

• *Jenlain Biere de Noel

GERMANY

• Aventinus Weizen Doppelbock

JAPAN

• Kiuchi Hitachino Nest New Year Celebration Ale 2006

UNITED KINGDOM

• Ridgeway Santa’s Butt
• Young's Winter Warmer

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

• *Brooklyn Brewery Black Chocolate Stout
• Dark Horse Tres Blueberry Stout
• Flying Dog K-9 Cruiser
• NABC Strathpeffer (heather/gruit ale; cask-conditioned; date TBA)
• Oaken Barrel Epiphany
• *Schlafly Christmas Ale

**SACRIFICED TO THE SOLSTICE**

Delirium Noel

Mahr’s Christmas Bock

N'Ice Chouffe

Harviestoun Old Engine Oil

Ridgeway Seriously Bad Elf (another keg later)

Rogue Chocolate Stout (third of three kegs later)

Rogue HazelNut Brown Nectar (another keg later)

Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale (third keg gone; more to come later)

Three Floyds Alpha Klaus Xmas Porter (another keg later)

Three Floyds Dreadnaught IPA

NABC holiday closings and our updated web site.

NABC, Rich O's and Sportstime are closed on Sunday and Monday, December 24 and 25 (Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. We'll reopen for business as usual on Tuesday, December 26.

You're invited to take a glance at the updated web site: www.NewAlbanian.com. I've rebuilt it completely, and all the raw information is there even if, in the end, I made a few mistakes that render the appearance different depending on the monitor. No matter; it's great to finally have it updated, and I anticipate continuing to tweak until I get it right.

Happy holidaze, readers, and Bona Saturnalia.

Saturnalia MMVI - update ... on tap today (12/23/06).

I'll update throughout the day.

GERMANY

Spezial Rauchbier

JAPAN

Kiuchi Hitachino Nest Red Rice

UNITED KINGDOM

Hambleton Nightmare Yorkshire Porter

Harviestoun Old Engine Oil

Ridgeway Seriously Bad Elf

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

BBC Hell for Certain

Great Divide Hibernation Ale

NABC Artemsia (cask conditioned, on the hand pump)

*NABC Bonfire of the Valkyries (third keg)

*NABC Naughty Claus (third keg)

New Holland Blue Goat Doppelbock

Pyramid Snow Cap

Ridgeway Seriously Bad Elf

Rogue Chocolate Stout (second keg)

Rogue Santa’s Private Reserve

*Shmaltz Monumental Jewbelation 5766 (second 1/6 keg)

Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale (third keg)

Stone Double Bastard

Upland Winter Warmer

**SELECTIONS STILL TO COME**

BELGIUM

• Corsendonk Christmas Ale
• De Dolle Stille Nacht
• Gouden Carolus Noel
• *Petrus Winter Ale
• St. Feuillien Cuvee de Noel
• Regenboog Wostyntje Mustard Ale

FRANCE

• *Jenlain Biere de Noel

GERMANY

• Aventinus Weizen Doppelbock

JAPAN

• Kiuchi Hitachino Nest New Year Celebration Ale 2006

UNITED KINGDOM

• Ridgeway Lump of Coal
• Ridgeway Santa’s Butt
• Young's Winter Warmer

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

• Anchor Christmas Ale (“Merry Christmas & Happy New Year”)
• *Bell’s Hell Hath No Fury
• *Brooklyn Brewery Black Chocolate Stout
• Dark Horse Tres Blueberry Stout
• Flying Dog K-9 Cruiser
• NABC Strathpeffer (heather/gruit ale; cask-conditioned; date TBA)
• New Holland Dragon’s Milk
• Oaken Barrel Epiphany
• *Schlafly Christmas Ale

**SACRIFICED TO THE SOLSTICE**

Delirium Noel

Mahr’s Christmas Bock

N'Ice Chouffe

Rogue HazelNut Brown Nectar

Three Floyds Alpha Klaus Xmas Porter (another keg later)

Three Floyds Dreadnaught IPA

Velocity on beer: It's like Jerry Falwell on morality.

What can be said about the journalism style necessitated by the target demographic of a weekly lifestyles supplement to a wretchedly corporate newspaper that more accurately describes the conceptual futility therein than the fact that a Starbucks coffee concoction merits inclusion in a column bearing the title “One Great Dish”?

Of course, I speak of Velocity -- and wish I didn't have to do it.

This week there's a “beer primer,” one inspired not by sensibly visiting the many establishments in metro Louisville that are capable of providing a range of beers (and, presumably, which advertise in Velocity), but by a trip to the Flying Saucer in Nashville.

The less said by the Curmudgeon, the better. Read it here:

From Pilsner to Porter
What is the difference between a lager and an ale? Check our beer primer and raise your pint IQ.

When finished, vote for your favorite sections in the comments section below. Here’s mine:

Pilsner: Golden, light, dry and bottom-fermented, this form of lager is technically required to be of "super-premium" quality.

NABC graphics: Bonfire of the Valkyries and Naughty Claus.

NABC artist-in-residence Tony Beard’s imagery is a cherished part of each new brewhouse creation, as these latest examples fully attest.

FLASH: Bistro New Albany will be open on New Year's Eve.

I confirmed with owner/chef Dave Clancy today that bNA will be open on Sunday evening, December 31, for New Year's Eve dining, and perhaps one or two Progressive Pints.

For those who don't know, bNA is located in downtown New Albany on the corner of Market and Bank. NABC beers are on tap, and Chef Dave's a culinary wizard.

Consequently, Mrs. Curmudgeon has agreed to an evening out, and I plan to test the limits of my (so far) successful weight loss program. Chef Dave notes that the regular dinner menu will be served, with five or so evening super specials.

Anyone up to join us? Downtowners who can walk to the Bistro and back might especially welcome the chance to stay close to home. I might bring a special bottle or two of subversive beer ... so , let me know, and we'll reserve space.

----

In case you didn't know:

There's only one Dave at the Bistro now. Chef Clancy and Dave Himmel have parted ways, amicably I'm told, and DH is said to be pursuing other related projects in downtown New Albany. I wish him the best, and plan on keeping readers abreast of his next move.

Craft this, craft that -- and no fundamental difference between the two.

I’ve learned that the Brewers of Indiana Guild will make an effort again this year to amend the law pertaining to microbreweries so as to allow Sunday carryout of craft-brewed, small brewery beer.

The last time this change was introduced, the Indiana legislature unceremoniously crushed it amid the usual grandstanding and the shrill complaints of professional anti-drug activists that it would lead to societal ruin as massive numbers of Bud Light drinkers would see the light convert overnight to paying double their customary tariff for televised Sunday sports drunkenness, buying IPA and Imperial Stout for underage drinkers, and wrecking vehicles.

However, note the hypocrisy inherent in the state legislature's record of pinky-bending indulgence toward wineries, which can sell their wares for carry-out on Sunday.

Craft winery, craft brewery … is there any difference beyond discredited stereotypes about beer and wine?

The first weekend of Saturnalia MMVI has concluded.

I was pleased to see the two new NABC beers, Bonfire of the Valkyries and Naughty Claus, so well received by patrons. Of the remaining starters, hardest hit probably has been Mahr’s Christmas Bock, N'Ice Chouffe and Three Floyds Alpha Klaus Xmas Porter.

Several patrons asked for comments about the projected rotation schedule, but it's difficult to say how the second wave will unfold. Numerous listed selections are yet to be delivered, and just as many may or may not make the trip. It's been a difficult procurement cycle. The good news is that plenty of quality beers will be on hand for tapping my the middle of next week.

Keep checking here for updates.

Times change, and so does A-B.

It wasn’t that long ago that Anheuser-Busch was enforcing ideological purity within its allied beer distributorships, eschewing carrots and wielding sticks as only an 800-lb brewing behemoth can, and demanding that A-B houses be A-B houses and nothing else, damn it – in short, purge yourselves of Mexican imports, Samuel Adams and regional craft brews, and experience the myriad financial joys of Buschian conformity.

It was zymurgological cleansing, to be sure, and as ham-fisted as you’d expect from an uncultured brewing monstrosity.

But the Clinton years are sadly passed, and as times have changed, A-B has been hurriedly procuring distribution rights to micros (Goose Island) and imported beers (Stella Artois, Bass) alike.

I was asked whether it worried me that some day, A-B might acquire the rights to Guinness. Not at all, I answered; Diageo has gutted the Guinness brand to such an extent that A-B distribution might actually be a step back up. At any rate, it would give me an excuse to quit selling Guinness and find (or brew) another dry stout.

The point to me is that the cyclical nature of multinational business interests, and the sole imperative of increasing shareholder wealth, is such that only the terminally naïve persist in believing that the A-B’s of the world stand for any semblance of enduring principle. The bloated monolith’s current zeal for distributing other brands might dissipate just as quickly as it occurred to whizzbang wunderkind Auggie IV in a blinding flash of chardonnay-induce clarity.

Then the brands will be quietly repositioned, dumped, or converted into aluminum-clad pet shampoo like Budweiser itself.

Meanwhile, America’s reality-based craft brewers will be making honest beer for discerning people.

Care to guess which place I’d rather be?

Saturnalia starting lineup.

BELGIUM
Delirium Noel
N'Ice Chouffe

GERMANY
Mahr’s Christmas Bock

JAPAN
Kiuchi Hitachino Nest Red Rice

UNITED KINGDOM
Harviestoun Old Engine Oil

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
BBC Hell for Certain
Great Divide Hibernation Ale
NABC Artemsia
*NABC Bonfire of the Valkyries
*NABC Naughty Claus
Rogue Chocolate Stout
Rogue HazelNut Brown Nectar
*Shmaltz Monumental Jewbelation 5766
Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale
Three Floyds Alpha Klaus Xmas Porter
Three Floyds Dreadnaught IPA
Upland Winter Warmer

Unleash your inner pagan at Saturnalia MMVI, a winter solstice draft fest at NABC.

BONA SATURNALIA! COME UNLEASH YOUR INNER PAGAN AS WE PRESENT “SATURNALIA MMVI,” A WINTER SOLSTICE DRAFT BEER FESTIVAL BEGINNING DECEMBER 15.

In pre-Christian Rome, Saturnalia was the annual winter solstice celebration that originally coincided with the feast days for Saturn (god of sowing and the harvest), Consus (god of the storage bin) and Opa (goddess of plenty).

Many of our contemporary winter holiday traditions derive from Saturnalia’s pagan roots, including the hanging of wreaths and garlands, donations to the needy, prayers for peace on earth, time away from work to be enjoyed with family, and of course eating, drinking and merriment.

On Friday, December 15, Rich O’s Public House and Sportstime Pizza pays tribute to these ancient pagan origins with the kick-off of Saturnalia, a draft beer festival scheduled to last past Christmas and New Year’s into January of 2007.

For NABC’s third Saturnalia celebration, I’ve gathered more than 40 special kegs of beer – some rare, some seasonal and others just innately festive – from America and around the world (see complete list below). Some of these hard-to-find beers will be appearing in draft form for the first time ever in metropolitan Louisville.

When the doors open at 1:00 p.m. on Friday, December 15, the first 17 sacrificial Saturnalia selections for MMVI will be revealed, tapped in a ritualistic manner … and the hedonistic pleasure will begin. The remaining kegs will be tapped as needed as the first wave depletes … and so it will proceed past New Year’s into January, 2007.

THE BEERS.

Pricing and portion sizes vary according to alcohol content and style. Selections marked with an asterisk * are appearing on draft for the first time at Rich O’s Public House and Sportstime Pizza. There will more than 40 draft beers in all, with 17 to be tapped on December 15, and the remaining ones following in due course as openings occur. This will take several weeks. During the festival’s run, information and updates will appear on these web sites:

Publicanista!
Potable Curmudgeon
NABC (under reconstruction)

Veterans observers of the process involved with procurement will recall that none of my festival draft lists are the same from beginning to end. The large number of trap doors waiting to be sprung, carpets ready to be pulled out from under and curves queuing to be thrown guarantees that 100% success is absolutely impossible. But ... the dust finally has settled for the most part.

Here is the entire list. Friday's starting lineup simply isn't yet clear, but perhaps I'll know by Thursday afternoon.

BELGIUM
Corsendonk Christmas Ale
De Dolle Stille Nacht
Delirium Noel
Gouden Carolus Noel
N'Ice Chouffe
*Petrus Winter Ale
St. Feuillien Cuvee de Noel
Regenboog Wostyntje Mustard Ale

FRANCE
*Jenlain Biere de Noel

GERMANY
Aventinus Weizen Doppelbock
Mahr’s Christmas Bock
Spezial Rauchbier

JAPAN
Kiuchi Hitachino Nest New Year Celebration Ale 2006
Kiuchi Hitachino Nest Red Rice

UNITED KINGDOM
Hambleton Nightmare Yorkshire Porter
Harviestoun Old Engine Oil
Ridgeway Lump of Coal
Ridgeway Seriously Bad Elf
Ridgeway Santa’s Butt
Young's Winter Warmer

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
Anchor Christmas Ale (“Merry Christmas & Happy New Year”)
BBC Beer Company (Main & Clay) Hell for Certain
*Bell’s Hell Hath No Fury
*Brooklyn Brewery Black Chocolate Stout
Dark Horse Tres Blueberry Stout
Flying Dog K-9 Cruiser
Great Divide Hibernation Ale
NABC Artemsia (mugwort/gruit ale; cask-conditioned; date TBA)
*NABC Bonfire of the Valkyries
*NABC Naughty Claus
NABC Strathpeffer (heather/gruit ale; cask-conditioned; date TBA)
New Holland Blue Goat Doppelbock
New Holland Dragon’s Milk
Oaken Barrel Epiphany
Pyramid Snow Cap
Rogue Chocolate Stout
Rogue HazelNut Brown Nectar
Rogue Santa’s Private Reserve
*Schlafly Christmas Ale
*Shmaltz He’Brew Monumental Jewbelation 5766
Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale
Stone Double Bastard
Three Floyds Alpha Klaus Xmas Porter
Three Floyds Dreadnaught IPA
Upland Winter Warmer

Meals will be prompt, and no gong sounded.

Check out this hotel restaurant menu from the year 1857:

Louisville Hotel Table d’Hote

Verily, all the essentials are in place, with a purely French approach to cooking, ample quantities of meats, dispensable veggies, abundant wine from around the world, and even Guinness (imported from Dublin) and India Pale Ale from the UK.

This probably would have been the best beer list in Louisville in 1957 ... and as recently as the early 1980's.

Absolutely fascinating.

Many thanks to Doogy R. for posting this on Robin Garr’s Louisville Restaurants Forum.

The Allsopp’s label was found here.

Chapter 56: Sometimes it's embarrassing to be an American.

On a topic unrelated to beer, at least at the outset, it seems to me that if not for the existence of bilingual residents of the nation of India, low labor and operating costs alone would not be sufficient for multinational companies to locate there.

Granted, outsourcing is a complex and partisan topic, but the simple point is that if there is to be such a thing as a global economy, whether great or small, one absolutely critical factor in understanding its impact has to be the role of language skills.

Except, of course, in the quintessentially American cultural wilderness … which brings us back to beer.

Bar owner on 'We Speak English' window sign: If you don't like it, call me

MASON, Ohio (AP) — A bar owner who faced a discrimination complaint over a message in his window has removed a sign that read "For Service Speak English" and replaced it with one reading "Here We Speak English."

"If someone doesn't like it, have them call me," Tom Ullum, owner of the Pleasure Inn in this city northeast of Cincinnati, said Tuesday.

There’s a town in Argentina called Ullum, although the name sounds German or Scandinavian.

Anyway, the first thought that strikes me is the sheer counter-productivity of it all. It’s highly doubtful that the relatively small percentage of Spanish speakers are entering Mr. Ullum’s bar and attempting to pay for his ice-cold light beer and vintage pickled bologna with pesos, bolivars or colones. My guess would be they come bearing dollars, which are reputed to spend the same irrespective of their speaker of origin.

It’s just as unlikely that their language proficiency poses any real problem in communicating in the international dialect of Retailese.

During a quarter-century of travel throughout Europe, I can’t recall a time when it proved impossible to convey simple thoughts even when there was no linguistic common ground – even in France, the target of so much yokel wrath in the States.

It’s amazing what can be accomplished if one simply desires to get along with other human beings.

Perhaps that’s the language Mr. Ullum doesn’t speak.

Here are the contest rules for (Your name here)Fest in May, 2007.

The next installment of (Your name here)Fest will come in late May, 2007.

The first was DaveFest, named for Dave Siltz, which took place earlier in 2006.

The (Your name here)Fest is a consumer’s choice beer fest, with the Publican (that’s me) attempting within reason and various distribution constraints to assemble an annual contest winner’s ideal draft lineup.

The question has been: How to fairly determine the next honoree? DaveFest was Dave’s because the idea was his, but for 2007, we’re going to do it differently. I've tried to incorporate some of the ideas he noted in this piece.

Beginning with the Saturnalia MMVI kickoff Friday, there’ll be a month-long essay contest to select the 2007 (Your name here)Fest winner.

Naturally, contestants must be 21 years of age.

(1) Contestants must present their answers to the question, “What would your ideal draft lineup look like?” in the form of an essay explaining why the particular beers are being chosen. Include personal information, reasons why you like them, and so forth. Entry deadline is January 15, 2007.

(2) Eight taps will be provided for beers of the contestant’s choosing. At least 12 beers should be specified so that alternates are available if any of the selections cannot be procured.

(3) “Stump the Publican” is not permitted. I cannot get draft Westvleteren or Alaskan Smoked Porter or Fat Tire. Consider alternates that are stylistically close, even if they’re not the same. Try to keep the choices within the range of drafts and/or breweries that are accessible via draft. I will work with you to hone the lineup.

(4) Beers like Guinness are always on draft, so there’s no reason to include and specify them if they’re favorites. They’re gravy.

(5) The essays will be judged by a three-member panel, to include myself, last year’s winner Dave Siltz (you don't mind, do you?) and a wild card to be named later. The panel’s methodology is secret, and its decisions are final.

(6) Our crack team of artists and designers will produce a limited, small-batch version of commemorative t-shirt to be vended to family, friends, co-workers and E-Bay shoppers.

Send the essays to the Curnudgeon’s e-mail, and thanks in advance for participating.

A RockWall Bistro outing.

At NA Confidential just yesterday, the talk was of weight loss (A dieter's lament: For all the meals I ate before), and so tonight the Curmudgeons set off to reward my success in shedding pounds, and my wife Diana’s in completing an inaugural semester in graduate school, and we did so by – how else? – eating a fine meal.

Our choice of table was the RockWall Bistro in Floyds Knobs, and quite the meal it was, beginning with fried oysters, continuing through a sampler platter of fresh tasting seafood (hers), a drunken quarter of a Cornish hen marinated in wine with roasted potatoes and asparagus (mine), and finishing with beignets dusted with confectioner’s powdered sugar and dredged in chocolate and black coffee.

Okay, I know what you’re thinking, but give me a break: It was the first big meal for me in almost two months, and without such occasional breaks in the lowered food intake routine, life simply wouldn’t be very much fun, would it?

Speaking of liquid bread, RockWall used to serve NABC draft beer, but that was several bar managers ago. The tap selection isn’t bad at all: Guinness, Bass, Belhaven Scottish and as a “seasonal” choice, Bell’s Two Hearted. Although there’s mass-market swill in bottles, the list also includes Pilsner Urquell, Sierra Nevada, Rogue Dead Guy and Upland Dragonfly IPA.

Considering the composition of the meal I had and the chef's use of red wine in preparing it, perhaps the ideal beer would have been Chimay Grand Reserve … better yet, Abbaye des Rocs Grand Cru. However, since I’d already had a half-pint shift beer of Schlenkerla Urbock, a glass of red wine sufficed to ease the hen’s passage.

Just so you know, all this extravagant caloric grandeur was accompanied by an 18 km bicycle ride earlier in the day and a two-mile evening walk.

There were two too many espressos during a convivial morning’s cigar smoke with friends, but that’s another story.

Mitch behind the cask cabinet at last week's Schlafly tasting.

I neglected to report on last Thursday’s (November 30) Schlafly Brewing Company tasting. It went quite well, with most regular pub customers that evening dropping into our Prost special events room to chat with brewery reps, including Mitch Turner (above), and sample Schlafly bottles and a special firkin of volatile and tasty cask-conditioned Pale Ale.

For the occasion, we rolled the cask cabinet from its usual position behind the Public House bar, because of course portability is almost as favorable as potability when it comes to cask ale. There wasn’t proper stillage time, and tapping the firkin was comparable to the post-game champagne celebrations we’ve all seen on television, but it was a good christening for the walls in the room.

A precious few 750 ml bottles of Schlafly’s Bourbon Barrel Aged Imperial Stout were on hand. There’ll be returning soon, first to the rotating bottle list, then to the everyday bottle list at the first of the year.

Don’t forget that in conjunction with Gravity Head 2007, we’ll be hosting a book signing by Tom Schlafly, the microbrewery's founder and namesake, and the author of "A New Religion in Mecca: Memoir of a Renegade Brewer in St. Louis." This event will take place later in March, 2007, and will coincide with the unveiling of one or more special Schlafly beers for Gravity Head.

The lads of the village ...

... on St. Andrews Day (Thursday, November 30).

Left to right: Bob, Roz, Bill, George and Terry.

Bix is hovering above Terry.

ICRUD, re-crud and the prohibitionist gene in America.

The human landscape is littered with the phenomenon of self-perpetuating bureaucracies, particularly those instituted to address specific threats or problems.

However, the human landscape is not filled to its brim with examples of self-perpetuating bureaucracies willingly dismantling themselves whether or not the threat or problem they were instituted to combat has abated. Rather, it is generally observed that these bureaucracies merely retool and diligently discover fresh nuances to expose and battle, thus ensuring their continued existence in our lives .. and the continued arrival of pay packets for their legions.

It would be foolish to suggest that society’s struggle against underage alcohol consumption has been “won,” primarily because it cannot be “won” in the manner preferred by those gazing upon it as a problem to be solved according to prohibitionist methodology.

It would be equally senseless to tar the sincerity and earnestness of those who genuinely believe that the scale of our youth alcohol problem is so immense that we must sanction a whole array of solutions, not all of which can have their dots connected back to the target, in order to succeed.

Willful disingenuousness is another matter. Consider this letter, which recently appeared in Indiana newspapers.

Reader: Tax could help people in need

Would you spend a nickel to ensure that there were sufficient mental health and addiction services available? If the alcohol tax were increased by just a nickel a drink, that increase would generate an additional $145 million in revenue.

We all pay for the costs of alcohol misuse and abuse, whether or not we drink. But the alcohol tax is a “user fee” that would only be paid by those who drink. The alcohol tax in Indiana has not been raised since 1981, meaning that alcohol is cheaper now that it was over 25 years ago.

Consequently, we continue to lose valuable revenue that could be used offset the billions the state spends every year on alcohol related costs.

Many good programs that serve persons with mental illness and addiction issues may close because of lack of funding. Is the mental and physical health of Hoosiers worth a nickel? A majority of Hoosiers, who support an increase to fund prevention and treatment programs, think so. It’s time to increase the alcohol tax.

— Lisa Hutcheson, Director, Indiana Coalition to Reduce Underage Drinking, Indianapolis

Only in the last paragraph does longtime ICRUD director Hutcheson concede that the money she proposes collecting would in any way impact underage drinking in the form of funding prevention programs, but it is unclear from the text of her letter that a fundamental tenet of ICRUD is to raise the price of alcohol for all legal drinkers so that statistically few – i.e., the underage, illegal ones for whom laws against consumption already are in existence, awaiting enforcement – will be discouraged from purchasing and consuming the product.

That is, the product that they currently are prohibited from purchasing.

I will contend until the end of time that a society which permits a 19-year-old to work, pay taxes, go into debt, vote, be married (well, if heterosexual), have children and be killed in Iraq, but wishes to deny this same citizen the adult pleasure of legality when it comes to the consumption of alcoholic beverages, is a society hopelessly flawed in such a deeply fundamental way that further discussions of the matter are largely moot.

ICRUD’s very existence, and the gist of its work, is testament to a noble human instinct expressed in futile conceptual manner owing to an illogical founding premise, and perhaps in the end, it’s all something that can be explained by an innately American gene that suggests a propensity for hypocrisy and a failure to discern irony.

Rather than paying more to further the historically non-starting idiocy of prohibitionism, might we instead consider teaching our children the history and proper use of alcoholic beverages?

Or is that too much to ask of a nation that thinks it values education?

Sometimes, things just happen. Like Kronenbourg 1664.

Question: What’s that Kronenbourg 1664 currently on tap at the Public House?

Last week I ordered a 30-liter keg of Monk’s Café Flemish Red, but received a 50-liter Kronenbourg 1664 instead. Mistakes happen, and in this case, I needed something to put on tap and decided to keep it. Subsequently, a credit was issued for the price difference.

None of this is unusual, except that as many of you know, Kronenbourg 1664 isn’t the sort of beer I’d usually seek out to be on tap at the pub. It’s a serviceable Euro Lager from eastern France, near Germany, and has “interchangeable, multinational corporate golden beer” written all over it. Not that it’s bad, mind you. It’s just that dozens of other pale lagers occupy the same ground, and I’ve never seen the need to have very many different ones on tap unless Spaten Lager runs dry (as it does from time to time).

I concede that brand loyalty is a strong factor in consumer behavior, even in a business like ours where we’ve tried to decrease blind allegiance and tout the notion that one can be sufficiently educated to make his or her beer choices from a diverse position of strength. If the wait staff knows to translate consumer requests for big selling yellow beers into “you’ll like German beer called Spaten,” then 90% of the time, all will be well.

Besides, almost any beer will deplete at the right price point. Also, on two separate occasions within the past month, a customer recently returned from Europe asked about the availability of Kronenbourg.

To both of them: I bought it for you.

Enjoy.

UPDATED: Note the changes: Saturnalia lineup and update.

Updated Thursday, December 7

Saturnalia, which recalls the pagan roots of our contemporary Christmas holiday season, begins on Friday, December 15. In beer terms, it is NABC's annual showcase for holiday and winter seasonal styles, with more than a few fun beers thrown in for good measure as stocking stuffers.

Veterans observers of the process involved with procurement will recall that none of my festival draft lists are the same from beginning to end. The large number of trap doors waiting to be sprung, carpets ready to be pulled out from under and curves queuing to be thrown guarantees that 100% success is absolutely impossible. This year's Saturnalia is no exception, but somehow it's been more galling than in the past, primarily because spanners have been tossed into the works from directions that previously weren't considered problematic.

However, as always, there'll be quite a few worthy beers and a celebratory atmosphere.

This is as final a rendering as I'm capable of offering. The starting lineup will be announced next week.

* never before on draft

BELGIUM

• Corsendonk Christmas Ale
• De Dolle Stille Nacht
• Delirium Noel
• Gouden Carolus Noel
• N'Ice Chouffe
• *Petrus Winter Ale
• St. Feuillien Cuvee de Noel
• Regenboog Wostyntje Mustard Ale

FRANCE

• *Jenlain Biere de Noel

GERMANY

• Aventinus Weizen Doppelbock
• Mahr’s Christmas Bock
• Spezial Rauchbier

JAPAN

• Kiuchi Hitachino Nest New Year Celebration Ale 2006
• Kiuchi Hitachino Nest Red Rice

UNITED KINGDOM

• Hambleton Nightmare Yorshire Porter
• Harviestoun Old Engine Oil
• Ridgeway Lump of Coal
• Ridgeway Seriously Bad Elf
• Ridgeway Santa’s Butt
• Young's Winter Warmer

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

• Anchor Christmas Ale (“Merry Christmas & Happy New Year”)
• BBC Beer Company (Main & Clay) Hell for Certain
• *Bell’s Hell Hath No Fury
• *Brooklyn Brewery Black Chocolate Stout
• Dark Horse Tres Blueberry Stout
• Flying Dog K-9 Cruiser
• Great Divide Hibernation Ale
• NABC Artemsia (mugwort/gruit ale; cask-conditioned; date TBA)
• *NABC Bonfire of the Valkyries
• *NABC Naughty Claus
• NABC Strathpeffer (heather/gruit ale; cask-conditioned; date TBA)
• New Holland Blue Goat Doppelbock
• New Holland Dragon’s Milk
• Oaken Barrel Epiphany
• Pyramid Snow Cap
• Rogue Chocolate Stout
• Rogue HazelNut Brown Nectar
• Rogue Santa’s Private Reserve
• *Schlafly Christmas Ale
• *Shmaltz He’Brew Monumental Jewbelation 5766
• Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale
• Stone Double Bastard
• Three Floyds Alpha Klaus Xmas Porter
• Three Floyds Dreadnaught IPA
• Upland Winter Warmer

SCRATCHED (ordered, but won't be delivered).

• Affligem Noel (quantity shipping issues)
• Avery Old Jubilation (pre-ordered, not delivered)
• De Ranke Pere Noel (was not shipped)
• Harpoon Winter Warmer (bean counters decided Indiana couldn't have any)
• Stone Oaked Arrogant Bastard (shorted Indiana on quantity)

Big day on December 16th: Cigars, Homebrew & Saturnalia.

The holiday season is notorious for worthy and festive events piled one atop the other, and frantic dashing back and forth.

I’ve previously noted two of them in this space: NABC’s Saturnalia holiday draft celebration begins on Friday, December 15, and the Pants Down Port Drinkers will convene on Thursday, December 28 at the Public House.

The 16th is shaping up as a crowded Saturday.

The 16th will be the second day of Saturnalia as well as the date for Youngstown Cigar Shop’s annual open house and the FOSSILS club’s yearly Christmas party.

Mike Stephens will be hosting a Christmas Open House all day on the 16th at his Youngstown Cigar Shop, which is located at 1411 Youngstown Shopping Center, Jeffersonville (foodies will not that the cigar shop is right behind Mai’s Thai). Free cigars, door prizes and chili are on the agenda.

The FOSSILS club party will begin later in the day. Here’s the official statement on the matter, and if it sounds like fun and you’re not yet a member … it’s remarkable inexpensive … then you’d best begin recruiting a member to issue you an invitation.

FOSSILS Holiday Party
Date: Saturday, December 16
Time: 6 p.m. - 11 p.m. (Dinner at 7 p.m.)
Location: Prost! at Rich O's Public House

To give everyone a break from the kitchen, or grocery/deli as the case may be for some, we are having this year's event catered. So, relax - we have you covered!

Tentative menu:
Appetizers - stuffed mushrooms, spinach kase, BBQ meatballs and crudites with hummus.
Dinner - BBQ chicken and pulled pork sandwiches, coleslaw, baked beans, pizza, breadsticks and salad.

Festivities:
Bring items for the raffle - gift wrapped if you wish - this is one of the best raffles of the year!

Dress festively if you are in the mood to do so!

Admire the FOSSILS Christmas tree!

Event cost: $15 per person includes appetizers, dinner, homebrew and dessert PLUS five (5) raffle tickets. Additional raffle tickets available, of course.

RSVP: We need to deliver a headcount for catering, so please RSVP to me with the number attending in your party. Guests (21 and over) are welcome to attend - please remember to include them in your RSVP.

NABC’s Bonfire of the Valkyries: Magic fire mood music for Saturnalia.

To know the Curmudgeon well is to understand that ounce for ounce, he craves smoked beer as much or more than any other beer style on the planet.

Consequently, those knowing readers who aren’t enthusiasts of the smoked beer genre often express wary trepidation with the prospect of visiting Bamberg, as they’ve been bombarded for so long with merry tales of the city – most of which begin and end at the fabled Schlenkerla tavern – that they’ve come to imagine every beer brewed there as being the beech-smoked variety.

Rest assured, it isn’t the case, although if it were up to me …

Of course, there are always ample supplies of Schlenkerla and Spezial for Daddy, and to suit the tastes of almost anyone except the chronically Lite-addled, also plenty of other classic German beer styles from Bamberg and the heavily breweried adjacent areas.

(These days, even the Liteweights can find some manner of tragically misdirected diet beer to suckle, thus facilitating their decision to miss the entire point of both brewing and traveling. But that’s another essay.)

Among the non-smoked choices are a scattering of Schwarzbiers – literally, black lagers. They’re regarded as variants of the Munich Dunkel (i.e., “dark”) brownish lagers, and are black-colored, with coffeeish overtones but not burnt flavors. Naturally, German “Noble” hops are used, and help to dry the finish. If you can imagine a style falling between a mildly hopped “black” Pilsner and a Porter brewed cleanly with lager yeast, you’re somewhere in the vicinity.

Schwarzbier isn’t smoked … until now. When I seize control during the coup d’Curmudgeon, they’ll all be.

Some time back, NABC’s brew crew of Jesse Williamson and Jared Williamson profited from Reese’s venerable lesson about chocolate accidentally meeting peanut butter. They formulated Bonfire of the Valkyries, a uniquely black smoked lager. Here are the specs.

OG: 1070
Malts: Weyermann smoked 2-row, black, special B, aromatic
Hops: SaazYeast: San Francisco/”California Common” (fermented cool, as a lager)

Taste tests are being regularly conducted, and BotV will be tapped on Friday, December 15, for the commencement of Saturnalia MMVI. Anyone want to bring some smoked ham and radishes?

Smarter, perhaps richer, and yet ...

Read this snippet of an article by Associated Press Writer Erin Carlson. Go ahead. I have a reason for making you suffer.

Lindsay Lohan has been attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, her publicist said Friday. "She started attending some, and I think it's a positive thing," Leslie Sloane told The Associated Press. "My biggest fear is who's the big idiot to out which (chapter) she goes to."

She said Lohan, 20, made the decision on her own to attend meetings, although Sloane added: "And, by the way, she's not saying ... she'll stop drinking tomorrow."

"It's a place to go and feel safe," she said. "No one judges her, and it's going to be a slow process. But, to me, the fact that she's seeing that there's something not right makes her smarter than the next person."

And the legal drinking age everywhere in the United States is ...