Pete Coors 2: "We bought a craft brewery in Georgia" and can Keystone it as we please.

The Denver Post's Jeremy Meyers does a truly masterful job in helping swill scion Pete Coors portray himself as a doddering incompetent, as in the previous excerpt.

However, in the passage below, Coors makes quite plain certain truths about the nature and reality of craft: Once his "crafty" DNA (even HE knows the difference) is spattered on 'em, they're damaged goods, in spite of what shoe-gazing beer narcissists insist as they suckle at the Bourbon County teat.

Read as Coors speaks of craft beer acquisitions as though they were baseball trading cards, and imagine him confiding in his fellow monopolists during the annual sex on the beach beer baron confab that if Terrapin doesn't work out, he'll just toss it on the remainders table.

Pete Coors is a windbag and a has-been. I'm not sure what it says about you if you give him (or AB-InBev) your money.

But he appreciates it, thank you very much.

Pete Coors, big beer industry continues to grapple with craft beers, by Jeremy Meyer (Denver Post)

 ... (Pete) Coors said to continue to be fresh, the company is looking at developing more new beers, looking at the possibility of acquiring more breweries and even pushing its new cider brands. He mentioned the 2009 purchase of Terrapin Beer Co. in Georgia as one experiment.

“We know a lot about brewing crafty beers and we are looking at new things all the time,” he said, adding that Colorado Native and Batch 19 have been popular additions. “We have a whole portfolio. Anheuser-Busch has a huge portfolio. They have acquired Goose Island and others. We bought a craft brewery in Georgia, Terrapin. We are a minority interest, which isn’t working out the best. So we are learning about that. And we have a growing cider brand.”

Pete Coors 1: We have an "algorithm and an app" to verify our rotary dial of a light beer.

Nothing the scion of swill says in this passage applies exclusively to the "premium light" brands of watery alco-pop his companies and his brethren produce.

Pete Coors 2: "We bought a craft brewery in Georgia" and can Keystone it as we please.

Given that bar owners worth their salt are replacing crap with craft on tap, and relegating "premium light" to bottles and cans in the back bar cooler (seems like a "fact" to me), as a response to palpable demand, Pete's "research" comes off somewhat tainted. Bar owners can switch brand loyal customers to bottles and cans because brand loyal customers are neutered drones, locked into a dreary towpath, and unwilling to change.

But even if we accept the Coors flailing as legitimate in the context of dinosaur death throes, keeping a customer in his seat an extra 18 minutes (not 17, and not 19) might just as likely be achieved by combining the best of both virtues; keep a genuine session beer on tap, one that is lower in ABV and milder, yet flavorful, fills that stool for another pint and resists the Silver Bullet's fundamental vapidity ... at a higher return, no less.

Pete Coors can blow it out his reactionary ass. The sooner the dinosaurs are extinct, the better.

Pete Coors, big beer industry continues to grapple with craft beers, by Jeremy Meyer (Denver Post)

... “Basically the biggest trouble we have is on-premise sales,” he said. “We have a lot of bar owners who are enamored with craft beers. They are beginning to take off the premium light handles and putting bottles behind the bar instead and replacing the handles with craft beer handles. We lose 50 percent of our volume when that happens.”

The company is trying to compel bar owners to keep their beers on tap by impressing them with facts.

“We have done research that shows it’s not in the economic benefit for a bar to do that,” he said. “Having a premium light brand, whether it’s Coors, Miller or Bud on tap actually improves the economics of their business. People stay in their seats an average of 18 minutes longer when they have a light premium beer on tap. That means they are spending more money, leaving bigger tips. We have a little algorithm and an app that we give to our distributors to evaluate and analyze these businesses and bars.”