Wednesday, February 14, 2007

The Velocity beer reviewer strikes again.

At least give Velocity, otherwise known hereabouts as the Courier-Journal’s shameless “Generation ?” advertising supplement, a slight degree of credit for knowing not to challenge its readership's ever shorter attention spans.

Year of the Beer: Celebrate the Chinese New Year with a sampling of Asian brews, by Danielle Bermingham.

We toured the beer world to bring back some Asian brews for you to imbibe while embracing another culture (and a great excuse to party).

The majority of the brews we sampled had a pungent sour flicker and a gold to golden-red tone. The beers were light and best served cold, a perfect accompaniment to spicy curries or zinging stir-fry.

Surprise -- each beer reviewed today is a standard golden lager, none of which have anything to contribute to a good meal other than a price tag higher than that of bottled water. Singha? Admittedly good when fresh, perhaps better than many, and still inferior to numerous world pilsners and even a few Euro lagers.

Imagine the possibilities with those “spicy curries.” Foreign-style export stout, India Pale Ale … Aventinus Weizen Doppelbock.

Frank Zappa was right to suggest that a country must have a beer to be a real country, but just because a country has a beer, it doesn't mean the beer is worth a damn. The time-honored "shop for beer by national flag" approach always struck me as ironic at best, since most of the imports are weak lagers with the most to lose during transit. Consequently, whole generations have grown to adulthood thinking that cardboard is a noteworthy flavor profile of imported beer. And it is -- just not in a favorable way.

I swore to myself that I wouldn’t let this reviewer get to me, but so far she’s done fruit beers, light beers, Asian beers … it’s enough to make me run to the fridge for a delectable, dark, rich Okocim Porter.

Wait … I actually have one.

No cabbage rolls or mushrooms, though. Looks like I’ll just have to drink it all by itself.

That wasn't so hard, was it?

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