I've got your green beer on St. Patrick's Day.

I read it once a year, dissolve into laughter, and stay home throughout the day.

Just in time for the holiday: "Erin Go Blah" (a reprint).

Publican's note: "Bar" none, this commentary on the St. Patrick's Day holiday, originally written by bartender Chris Halleron some years back for the “Hot Trub” e-newsletter, is the best I've ever read. Permission to reprint has been provided by the author.

Recently a friend asked if I was free to do something on St. Patrick's Day, but I explained that asking a bartender to take that day off is like asking an accountant to blow off work on April 14. It is the busy season for bartenders, when we get to see all those cheapskate rookies who haven't spent a dime in the bar since they threw up in the corner on New Year's Eve but now decide to poke their heads out of their holes and celebrate the Feast of St. Patrick.

More green-free ales for St. Patrick's Day.

Previously, I revealed the Hibernian-inspired Gravity lineup for St. Patrick's Day at NABC's Pizzeria & Public House:

No green shades for a Gravity Head St. Patrick's Day at the Pizzeria & Public House.

That's one Gravity Head-listed keg of beer for each applicable relevant Irish beer color, which does not include the color green:

BBC Sam and Adam's Bustin' Lager
Upland Ard-Ri
Stone Imperial Stout.

No, there'll be no green beer, because that's just disrespectful. Yes, we have draft Guinness. There'll also be these two lower-gravity treats:

NABC Wee Foot ... Jared's session-strength Irish-style Dry Stout
People's Brewing Nine Irish Red Ale ... from our brothers in Lafayette