Farting on cue: Roland might be the perfect mascot for New Albany's Break Wind Lofts at Duggins Flats.

In New Albany, professional flatulence is alive, well and residing in the very bowels of the economic dishevelment department.

Seriously, the "luxury" apartments at the Coyle site will be called The Breakwater. No, really.

Flaherty and Collins kicks off Break Wind Flats with a boffo map fail.

What's missing is Roland's commitment to craftsmanship. In olden times, they really had to be good at what they did ... or their heads went merrily rolling.

THE TRUE STORY OF ROLAND THE FARTER, AND HOW THE INTERNET KILLED PROFESSIONAL FLATULENCE, by Linda Rodriguez (Atlas Obscura)

Roland, court minstrel to 12th century English king Henry II, probably had many talents.

But history has recorded only one.

Referred to variously Rowland le Sarcere, Roland le Fartere, Roland le Petour, and Roland the Farter, Roland really had one job in the court: Every Christmas, during the court’s riotous pageant, he performed a dance that ended with “one jump, one whistle, and one fart”, executed simultaneously.

For this, Roland was gifted a manor house in Hemingstone, Suffolk, and more than 100 acres of land.

For farting on cue ...

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Can I think of any needed Improvements to Louisville Slugger Field? Hmm, well ...

Why, yes. In a pinch, racking my brain ... I may be able to come up with two items.

Local Beer.

Unfortunately, for as long as that football-field-sized AB InBev billboard keeps hold of management's collective wallets and conceptual cojones, it would be foolish to envision beer reform.

City to hire firm to evaluate Slugger Field, suggest improvements, by Marcus Green (WDRB)

Metro government plans to hire a firm to evaluate Louisville Slugger Field and suggest renovations, repairs and other improvements to the 14-year-old ballpark.

City officials are reviewing bids submitted last month for the work, which Louisville Bats president Gary Ulmer said is a first step in understanding the stadium's needs in the coming decades.

I've written about this issue numerous times in the past, in a saga that stretches back to Cardinal Stadium days prior to Slugger Field's construction. The song remains the same: Bats + craft beer = yearly embarrassment.

Here's a LouisvilleBeer.com piece from 2013 that summarizes the bleakness. In Louisville, we always "play ball" -- with the multinationals.

The Sahara of Slugger Field

The Triple-A Louisville Bats began play earlier this month amid the usual hot stove and cold fridge speculation as to whether Louisville Slugger Field finally would join the craft (beer) (food) (bourbon) (dining) (localism) (choose one) revolution currently underway in Louisville, as well as in most other baseball outposts scattered through the remainder of the United States.

If you’ve lived in these parts for any amount of time and possess the patience to read this far, you’ve already guessed the answer.

Nope.