"So if you want my beer, you need to keep me happy."

Whenever I read Kevin Patterson's essays, I'm transported through the beer time warp, back to the period 1992-2002. I was much younger, a tad more temperamental, and ensconced behind the Public House bar almost every day. The amazing aspect of my subsequent reputation as one unable to suffer fools is how often I actually did. Some days, when the fastball isn't crackling and the curveball isn't breaking, you get by on guile ... and then overcompensate afterwards by suckling at the taps and consuming profits.

I say this in jest, Kevin, but are you sure you're not somehow plagiarizing my subconscious coping mechanisms from the grunge era? I resemble so many of these remarks.

Screwed Up Beer Week (vol 12) - Don't Be "That Guy"! Here's How...

... Get the hell out of my bubble!: When folks drink, there seems to be the need for them to crawl up in my shirt in order to talk with me. Don't be that guy! I don't need your halitosis and stout breath sticking to my hair to have a good chat. Especially if I'm behind the bar. That's my space- not yours. You cross that imaginary line where the business side of the bar starts and the friendly side ends and I have full permission to put your ass to work! We're probably not as close as you think. Simply put, don't chase me around the bar.

"Playing Nice With Bad Beer"? I'd rather not, although adjuncts aren't necessarily the deal killer.

I generally agree with what the Brewers Association does for my industry, but even after these many years, there is an element of wariness. After all, it's the house that Charlie Papazian built. There's also a palpable infusion of Kremlinology when it comes to observing the workings of the BA.

Conceding from the start that "craft" as an adjective has long since descended into utter nonsense, even if I still use it as a variety of colloquial shorthand, for a very long time the BA has chosen to impale itself on the use of adjuncts. Perhaps finally this is changing.

"While this division made sense in earlier days of the craft brewing revolution, we see evolution leading many craft brewers to consider the use of adjunct grains in their recipes," the association said. "Some craft brewers do use adjuncts to bring greater palatability by lightening some of their stronger beers. Other brewers are deliberately going for lighter bodied beers in sessionable offerings. When one looks at the millennia of brewing practice, one common thread for the vast majority of time is that brewers employed ingredients that are readily available to them."

Once each year in summer, my brewery releases a Pre-Prohibition Pilsner brewed with adjuncts. While clocking in at a higher ABV than I prefer, it is nonetheless delicious. It can be done, but of course, doing so is not the same thought or brewing process as churning out alcoholic soda pop.

Which leads me to Kevin Patterson's recent column. It reads so much like my 1990's era pieces in the FOSSILS newsletter that I'm tempted to begin comparing passages to see if I've been sampled.

(Not really, of course)

After 12 years owning a brewery, I've modified my stance only a little. Ya gotta have science in the brewhouse, even if I failed it in high school. But Kevin's right: As it pertains to stirring the heart and emboldening the mind, we need art. Art sometimes tries the patience, but that's better than wet air, anyday.

As is true love.

Screwed Up Beer Week (vol 9) - Playing Nice With Bad Beer- Not This Guy!, by: Kevin Patterson (LexBeerScene.com)

A diplomat walks into a bar. And by diplomat, I mean a professional craft beer brewer. While not exactly a diplomat, he was acting all diplomatic when he was talking with his customers and fans. Taking the high road when asked about the efforts of "big beer," such as Budweiser, Miller, Coors, Pabst, etc., He was happy to lament on the difficulty of their tasks, how tough it is to make beers so light, so clean, so consistent- acting like his mind has been blown at the success of such large enterprises. And though I applaud him for being the bigger man, I call bullshit!

Two more craft writing recaps: Digital takeaways and a Beer Trappe's perspective.

Two more Craft Writing symposium review links appear below. First, five takeaways.

5 VALUABLE MARKETING INSIGHTS FROM CRAFT BEER WRITING CONFERENCE, by Shea Anderson (Digital Relativity)

Almost all of the brewers who spoke said they also do the brewery’s writing.

I heard both Jeremy Cowan and Garrett Oliver say this, although they conceded doing less of such work writing nowadays. It seems to me that they've succeeded in establishing a house writing character (the Shmaltz shtick, Brooklyn Brewing's authoritative clarity) to guide those who churn today's copy.

It belatedly occurred to me that outside of the period 2010-2012, I could say the same about my writing for NABC. Probably more than 90% of the words written for NABC use since inception have been mine. To some extent, it's a legacy, although it can be annoying to look back and see errors and omissions, hence today's words for life: Everything you do is a work in progress.

Kevin Patterson runs The Beer Trappe in Lexington, and appears to be the voice of his workplace. His columns at LexBeerScene.com have been thought-provoking, and I'm looking forward to further reading and the occasional exchange of ideas.

Screwed Up Beer Week (vol 7) - "The Elephant in the Craft Beer Room", by Kevin Patterson (LexBeerScene.com)

So, two hundred and fifty craft beer writers walk into a symposium. And I can say with great certainty that they all knew much more about beer than me. There were esteemed authors of world-renowned publishing. There were owners of beer-centric periodicals. There were current beer bloggers. There were brewers who wrote abut their beer endeavors, for better and for worse. There were beer & food experts. There were beer chemists, biologists and physics experts. There were several masterbrewers. There they all were, all 250 of them... and then there was me.