V.I. Lenin, founder of the USSR, attends his first Craft Bottle Share.

The estimable Josh H. recalls me telling him this story while in a state of gravity-borne, drunken disrepair. It is my favorite "old" Soviet Union joke.

It's the Brezhnev era, circa 1970s, and Soviet scientists finally have solved the riddle of death, immediately applying the potion to Vladimir Ilyich Lenin's embalmed corpse.

Lenin springs back to life, dusts off, and looks around the room. Asked by the scientists if they can get him anything, Lenin requests access to his office in the Kremlin and all the back issues of Pravda since he died. Fawningly, the scientists comply, and Lenin shuts himself in the office.

Day after day passes by, and while the scientists are terrified to bother Lenin, they start to worry. Finally they decide to break down the door. Inside Lenin's office they find issues of the newspaper strewn everywhere, but no Lenin.

On the desk he has left a note: "Comrades, it's gone to hell in a handbasket, so I'm off to start the revolution all over again."

By the way, here's an article about how to properly share your bottles.

6 Rules for Attending Your First Bottle Share, by Josh Ruffin (Paste Magazine)

Hey, I see you’re gearing up for your first bottle share! That’s awesome, and you should be excited. You’re going to try some great, rare beers, including some you may never taste again, and get the chance to be a part of a very special, very passionate community.

That said, there are a few ground-rules. So read on, unless you want to become a Don’t Drink Beer meme.

Diary: I know just how Lenin felt.

During the Soviet Union's latter stages of terminal illness, there was a joke told about its founder, Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, which went something like this.

Soviet scientists manage to solve the problem of bringing the dead back to life, and immediately apply the new cure to Lenin's waxen, embalmed body. They are giddy as he slowly comes to consciousness. Asked what he needs first, Lenin replies: "Show me to my old office, and bring every issue of Pravda published since my death."

This is done, and as he closes the office door, he gives orders not to be disturbed.

Several days pass, and Lenin never once reemerges from the office. Scientists and party hacks become worried, but are afraid to defy the re-animated leader's strict orders to be left alone. Finally they can stand it no longer, and barge into Lenin's office. Newspapers are strewn about, but he is missing. On his desk is a note.

"Comrades, I've gone to start all over."