Wednesday Weekly: Someone's gotta keep non-advertisers in line, right?

Yes, there are a few things about craft beer that you can learn by picking up an issue of this week’s Louisville Eccentric Observer (LEO).

Most importantly, writer Jonathan Meador does what LEO always has done best in a genuinely balanced but cutting examination of the Alcohol Beverage Control’s recent citing of bars in Germantown for alleged zoning law violations.

Are the bars there being targeted? The ABC says “no,” and the crux of the matter is the existence (or not) of non-conforming clauses when the bars in question changed ownership. Since several of these establishments (Nachbar, Swan Dive) are noted for offering craft beer, it’s an article of more than passing interest for enthusiasts.

The bulk of the craft beer references in this week’s LEO come courtesy of paid advertising, and I’m sure there are salutary effects on the bottom line.

There’s a nifty full-page ad for Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale, which won a silver medal at the 2010 World Beer Cup. Congratulations to Alltech. The new Falls City has a 1/8 page insert, too, and it’s tasteful. You can see the NABC logo in an ad for the Black Keys show at Iroquois on August 11, and Old Chicago name drops New Albanian in its half-page ad, along with BBC and Browning’s, although not Cumberland.

Ask them, not me.

Schlafly’s own half-pager urges readers to “raise some Helles.” Come to think of it, I might just do that, because Browning’s also brews a superb Helles, and it’s been on tap at the portable concession stand (Section 115) during Louisville Bats games for much of the season. Accordingly, looking through LEO, I see there’s advertising from the Bats, apparently putting in a belated bid for the craft beer market with a bright quarter-page paean to “$2 craft beer,” which … which … what’s that loud noise … could you hold just a minute while I see what’s causing Dr. Goebbel’s to thrash so violently in his grave?

Okay, now I understand. Those particular “craft” beers touted by the Bats in LEO are the same ones that Anheuser-Busch itself describes as “craft” beer, which in terms of objective reality is tantamount to my observing what a brilliant lavender color my Schlafly Helles beer has today.

Which is to say: It is utter propaganda, lacking any quality capable of being linked to truth, and as the originator of 20th-century mass-market propaganda, Joe has reason to be highly annoyed that Anheuser-Busch treats his legacy so shabbily.

Wait -- there’s even more! Specifically, a full-page LEO Weekly blurb for itself, which skillfully lampoons Sarah Palin-speak as a prelude to more Goebbels grave spinning:

Also too the mainstream media does suck also ... at LEO Weekly, in-depth analysis isn’t limited to the hoppiness of locally brewed beers. We also analyze the bitterness of locally brewed politics. The way we see it, there are thousands of papers to scrutinize the Obamas and Palins of the world, but someone’s got to keep Katie King in line, too. We volunteer.

Actually, apart from Meador’s Germantown expose, today’s LEO contains no analysis whatever of the hoppiness of local beers, and that’s because Mr. Mug Shot (yours truly) was given his walking papers for wondering why LEO seeks to keep politicians like Katie King in line, but not breweries like Anheuser-Busch, and even though it appears that LEO will not publicly explain my absence, the juxtaposition of A-B “craft” beer in one ad and King’s name in another serves to compel me to at least publish a letter to the LEO editor sent by my friend and research assistant, Paul Mick.

Three weeks later, and to no one’s surprise, it remains unpublished. Appreciate the gesture, Paul. Did you mail it to Possibility City, or LEO’s local corporate office in Nashville, Tennessee?

“For the past 7 years, I've lauded LEO as a bastion of uncompromising journalism and discerning taste to countless new students at U of L. I'd tell them to consult your paper if they ever had any questions about local events, politics, or dining and I'd warn them to steer clear of the pitiful simulacrum that is Velocity. I would even take tour groups past your stands so they could pick up a copy and see all that Louisville has to offer as a city.

“However, your recent decision to terminate Roger Baylor's Mug Shots column in order to placate macrobreweries has wounded me deeply. For all of the grief you (often rightly) give Mayor Abramson for his dealings with Cordish, you certainly seem eager to hop InBed with InBev and sell out your columnists for thirty pieces of silver.“

In the recent 20th anniversary issue of LEO, BIlly Reed commented, "Since day one, there have been no sacred cows at LEO." Apparently that doesn't apply to big business advertisers, to whom you are more than willing to kowtow. Roger, an icon of the Louisville craft beer revolution, has always been dedicated to telling the public the truth in an undistilled and undiluted form. If honesty on the rocks is a bit hard for you all to swallow, then I suggest you crack open a Bud Light with Lime, cease pretending to be truth purists, and openly embrace the company that has clearly bought your opinion.”

Paul Mick, The HIghlands

Just a wee bit more about the Curmudgeon's lamentable Artestian Complex.

Briefly, permit me to convey heartfelt thanks to all who've relayed support in the aftermath of my departure from LEO. I deeply appreciate your comments.

It's ironic that during the weeks just prior to the weirdness, I seemed to be getting more reader compliments about the "Mug Shots" column than ever before. Life's funny that way. The important part to me is that so many of you have confessed to not agreeing with me all the time, but continued reading, anyway. That's a truly free market in ideas, whether or not one becomes too alternative for the acceptably alternative, as apparently I have.

And no, I've no idea whether my absence will be noted. Will A-B InBev take out a full-page, congratulatory ad? Only the bean counters know.

Meanwhile, I've had two conversations with other Internet portals about for-pay beer writing, and while I contemplate these and other post-column-divorce matters, it is my aim to stick to writing right here, at this blog.

There was a good conversation at the Louisville Restaurants Forum last week, and if you go straight to page two, you can find a few of my expanded thoughts on the matter.

Thanks again -- and let's all have a beer together very soon, because in the end, that's what it's really all about.

This round goes to the Liteweights, as Mr. Mug Shot is no more.

This just in: LEO's editor, Sarah Kelley, has fired intrepid "Mug Shot" columnist Roger A. Baylor for myriad offenses against taste and decency.

Which is why I thought the "independent" "alt"-weekly hired me in the first place, but verily, times and people change. There'll be time later to discuss. Until then:

Under-employed former LEO beer columnist with pompous proclivities and a large, loyal fan base desires biweekly forum for fermentable truth-telling. Pay is negotiable. Note that the columnist is allergic to censorship and poor taste. You know where I am. Have beer -- will write/right.

A tale of two columns.

21 June update: This round goes to the Liteweights, as Mr. Mug Shot is no more.

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“You do not change what I write!"
-- John Reed, played by Warren Beatty, in the 1981 movie "Reds"

I write a weekly general interest column for the New Albany Tribune, a fortnightly beer column for Louisville Eccentric Observer (LEO), and a quarterly beer column for Food & Dining magazine.

To greater or lesser extent, I maintain two blogs: NA Confidential (life in New Albany) and Potable Curmudgeon (life in the beer business).

Generally speaking, I’ll provide a link to the Tribune column each week on Thursday at NA Confidential, and a link to the LEO column every other week on Wednesday at Potable Curmudgeon. Since Food & Dining does not maintain an active web archive, those articles are published in their entirety at Potable Curmudgeon on a delayed basis.

This week, the LEO and Tribune links are running together, following this explanation. If you follow my periodic ranting on Facebook, you already know the reason, and therein lies a story.

Basically, the top brass at LEO proposed to censor the column I wrote for publication this week, citing my reference to my own business (necessary to tell the story, and also offered to readers sans the establishment’s actual name) and my mention of Miller Lite (even when humorously altered, and even when it was the specific product mentioned by my on-line critic).

This presumably happened because roughly two years ago, the Louisville branch of Anheuser-Busch Thin-Skinned 800-lb Multinational complained about something I wrote; former LEO editor Cary Stemle thought so little of it that he didn’t even tell me until much later, but those who've subsequently occupying his chair evidently have established a new policy, paraphrased:

One mustn’t tout feel-good real beer and craft beer culture by harmful and factual comparison to bad beer and the excesses of macro beer culture, and one mustn’t offend any potential advertisers, because even though we at LEO egregiously attack errant nitwit politicians, mountaintop removal companies and wretched taste in popular culture, those entities probably weren’t planning on advertising with us, anyway, and after all, beer’s amusing, but not really important enough to waste anyone’s personal integrity defending.

I’m exaggerating just a bit -- a wee bit -- although that’s the gist of it.

I spent about five minutes pondering the blatant hypocrisy, shrugged, withdrew the column, added a few words to bring it to 900, and resubmitted it as the weekly Tribune column, where it appears today, entirely uncensored, courtesy of a local newspaper that in this case possesses far bigger balls than LEO’s, which will continue to term Jim Bunning a son-of-a-bitch while prohibiting (for example) earnest and revealing commentary on a nefarious corporation (A-B InBev) that currently seeks legal changes to deny craft brewers self-distribution in Illinois.

But what the hey: You want someone to take down Justin Bieber or Rand Paul, you know exactly where to look.

Meanwhile, I wrote a completely different LEO column, and within it cleverly insulted a LEO advertiser (the carpetbagging Top of the Hops beer festival) without anyone at the office catching it. As Steely Dan once noted, "Throw out the little ones/And pan fry the big ones/Use tact, poise and reason/And gently squeeze them."

Because so many people have told me that they read and enjoy the LEO column, I’ll continue to submit whatever emasculated Pablum the staff desires, make it as relevant as I can to a real world denied my scrutiny by the Man/Woman, and go on cashing my checks -- even if I have to take a shower after each cha-ching.

As for the Tribune: Thanks, guys. In the year and a half I’ve been submitting columns, only once in my memory has Steve "Coach K" Kozarovich overruled me, and that was in May of 2009 when I proposed to run four consecutive East German travel epics. He was right that time, and the Tribune is far better than it used to be.

In the Tribune, June 17: BAYLOR: Still killing: The scourge of L.I.D.S.

In LEO, June 16: Mug Shots: It’s Christmas in July

Photo credit

"Mug Shots" today in LEO: "The beer bucket list."

I'll credit GQ with providing the impetus for a discussion, which began at the Louisville Restaurants Forum, and I carried forward into my column for LEO today.

Mug Shots: The beer bucket list

To be worth its hops, this list must address wishes that extend somewhat beyond the mundane and everyday: not just great beers purchased at a package store, but ways and places to drink them — settings, countries, meals, breweries, festivals and modes of thinking outside the Bud.

"Mug Shots" today in LEO: "The cycle of life."

It's a very "Short History of Restorative Beers." I've also contributed an interview with the man who's bringing Falls City back from the grave, which I'm told will be used in the annual bar issue.

Mug Shots: The cycle of life

In the small town of Frasnes-lez-Buissenal, within the gently hilly area of Belgium known as the Pays du Collines, there is a municipal health and fitness center not unlike the YMCA, save for one crucial difference.

"Mug Shots" today in LEO: "Cold-weather beers."

If you think about Gravity Head beers, well, that's purely intentional.

Mug Shots: Cold-weather beers

My ancestry is as clear as mud — specifically, the flat and indefensible terrain formerly occupied by land-owning Junkers in eastern Germany and the western half of what is now sovereign Poland. Rest assured, my people were the German workers hoeing endless rows, not the Bismarckian aristocrats in the manor house. My guess is that we were located closer to Berlin than Bialystock, because I’ve never had much of a taste for distilled spirits, of which vodka is most notorious in that part of the world.

"Mug Shots" today in LEO: "Bear the better beer torch."

Beer class starts tonight. There'll be another section offered in April. Until then, just keep practicing.

Mug Shots: Bear the better beer torch

Last weekend, the Mug Shot family watched Steven Soderbergh’s “Che,” the 2008 cinematic ode to Che Guevara, and while I know this will incite the usual round of anguished finger-pointing about my Communist leanings (how unspeakably droll, yet they persist), Cuba never was much of a beer-drinking country, anyway.

Rather, at one juncture in Part One of “Che,” the revolutionary leader realizes many prospective recruits to the cause can neither read nor write, and he institutes literacy classes as a core component of the 26th of July Movement.

To paraphrase Guevara: Absent literacy, the individual is much more easily misled by the powers that be.

"Mug Shots" today in LEO: "Beers and cigars: I say puff away," as at Steinert's tonight as Cigar Faction invades NA.

While not all intending to revisit old battlegrounds, it remains that as long as the absence of a smoking ordinance in New Albany continues to enable the proprietor's choice as it pertains to tobacco use at our food and drink establishments, there is an opportunity for those so desiring to serve as niche markets for metro Louisville cigar smokers.

We've started work on the patio at Bank Street Brewhouse to wrap it. Christo was unavailable, so we hired a contractor. Equipped with heaters, soon it will be a suitable area to enjoy a fine cigar. Of course, some pubs and restaurants still choose to allow smoking indoors.

In connection with beer, I wrote about cigars today in LEO: Mug Shots: Beers and cigars: I say puff away.

Like better beer, my cigar is a force that unites geography, history, agriculture and scientific progress, burning ever so slowly, emitting puffy smoke rings — the fruition of a long, patient process of growth, cultivation, harvesting, curing, hand rolling, packing and distribution.

Better yet, there's an opportunity tonight to patronize a downtown business, enjoy an adult beverage, and snip the end of a Dominican.

Cigar Faction - January 2010
@ Steinert’s Grill & Pub on Main Street in New Albany

Cigar Faction is looking for a places in Metro Louisville to enjoy cigars and craft beer. Steinert's Grill and Pub in downtown New Albany is one of them: Spacious, well-ventilated, a cigar-friendly staff, good food, good beer, and a well-stocked bar. NABC's Mt. Lee (California Common in the City of Angels) will be on tap, and J. Shepherd of Louisville will have cigars available for purchase with door prize drawings every half hour beginning at 6:30.

So, who's in? I should be there by 6:30 p.m., following the UEA board meeting, and am saving a wondeful Ashton for the occasion.

"Mug Shots" today in LEO: "When you gotta go ... "

Doesn't everyone don a coat before leaving the barroom to take a leak?

Mug Shots: When you gotta go ...

It may have been Archie Bunker who observed, “You don’t buy beer, you rent it,” and your humble columnist has gleaned a fair amount of experience in such matters in his career as a professional beer drinker, most recently while enjoying a Christmas holiday in Bamberg, Germany.

Two most recent "Mug Shots" in LEO: A Louisville area year in review.

For those just tuning in, the Curmudgeon writes 700-word beer colums every two weeks for the Louisville Eccentric Observer (LEO). If memory serves, the column originated in 2007, beginning with 300 words, and later being upped to 700. Then, as now, these alternate with Sara Havens' "The Bar Belle."

The final two contributions from 2009 are below. They survey the Louisville beer scene as we head into what I'm sure will be a another remarkable year in beer.

December 23: Mug Shots: The most divine of 2009

December 9: Mug Shots: Year of the good beer

"Mug Shots" today in LEO: "Thanks for craft on draft."

Just saying ... and with a nod to the Rud.

Mug Shots: Thanks for craft on draft

With the hectic holiday season about to break loose, every amateur economics geek is sifting through retail sales figures in an effort to fathom the direction of a recession-scarred economy. Beer business analysts are surveying the same cratered terrain, and their findings to date are mixed. Not unexpectedly, some parts of the beer biz are doing well, and others are not. But the specifics might surprise you.

Premium-priced brands and many imports are flat-lining at best, and often plummeting, while “popularly priced” budget choices and America’s craft beer segment are headed up, up, up.

"Mug Shots" today in LEO: "Beer for breakfast."

Regard today's piece as the first of many discussions to come. Credit goes to Beth H. for introducing the notion. Now we just need to do it: A breakfast food and beer pairing ... at breakfast.

Mug Shots: Beer for breakfast

You don’t need to climb to the top of the nearest mountain for a consultation with the resident guru to know that you can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning.

I’m not referring to hair of the dog (lowercase), although Hair of the Dog (uppercase) remains a respected small-batch, high-gravity Oregon brewer of beer that just might succeed in curing a hangover when judiciously consumed during the morning hours after a long evening’s debauchery.

"Mug Shots" today in LEO: "Man behind the Bastard."

After I submitted this piece, there were more updates to the beer list, especially additions from "No Coast" BBC (Main & Clay). Go to the Louisville Restaurants Forum and check the thread for updated material from Ashley at Flanagan's.

Mug Shots: Man behind the Bastard

If you’re a fan of Arrogant Bastard and the many other uncompromising craft beers emanating from Stone Brewing Company, then you’ll want to reserve time Saturday afternoon (Sept. 19) to sample Stone’s locally oriented promotional savvy.

That’s when the brewery’s founder, Greg Koch, is coming to Louisville to hawk his wares, state his case and meet you. He’ll be the special guest at a gala outdoor charity event called “East Coast, West Coast, No Coast,” benefiting Henry’s Ark, all of which is being conceived, staged and hosted by Flanagan’s Ale House (934 Baxter Ave.). There’s a $5 cover.

"Mug Shots" today in LEO: "Taste great and less filling?"

Tastes great and less alcoholic?

Mug Shots: Taste great and less filling?
Occasionally a cliché bears passing resemblance to reality. Recalling the eagerness of every politician to stump by heaping effusive praise on the genius of good, old-fashioned American workplace creativity, permit me to note that this characterization is spot-on when it comes to American craft brewing.

"Mug Shots" today in LEO: "Revisiting the BBQ + craft beer equation."

Read about last Friday's visit to Kentucky BBQ Company. In the article, I failed to mention my pre-BBQ appetizer (kimchee dumplings) and Bell's Two Hearted at Maido, or the post-appetizer, pre-BBQ espresso and dessert at Sweet Surrender. It may be the most dangerous block in Louisville for me now that I know about KBC.

Mug Shots: Revisiting the BBQ + craft beer equation

Earlier this summer, a chance backyard encounter with barbecued ribs and a tub of bottled microbrews left me pondering the pairing possibilities of BBQ and craft beer.

"Mug Shots" today in LEO.

Here's my entry for today. Tomorrow it's time to leave for the Great Taste of the Midwest in madison, Wisconsin.

Mug Shots: Sharing the wealth, in LEO Weekly.

That’s right: There’s a leftist tint to Madison. Apart from the wonders of its one-day craft beer fete, the city’s fair-minded, intrinsic liberalism never fails to impress this unrepentant Social Democrat. When one considers the strong likelihood that frothy right-wing politicians like Kentucky’s lame-duck Jim Bunning habitually refer to Wisconsin’s state capital as “The People’s Republic of Madison,” it’s a reminder for people of my persuasion to go there whenever possible, investing early and often in the local beer-making economy, and recalling that in political terms, Kentucky remains lamentably “in the Red.”

Mug Shots returns to LEO today.

I'm back in LEO today: Mug Shots: Seek and ye shall find, a review of beer events in July, both local and international. Sort of.

LEO Mug Shot: "Summertime beer fests."

In today's LEO Weekly: Mug Shots: Summertime beer fests. I've resolved to publish these here at the blog, but note that I'll be skipping a start on June 24, with the next column coming on July 8. Cheers!

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During the halcyon days of my youth, which were far less carefree in practice than when viewed decades later through beer-drenched memory, summertime always meant a profusion of outdoor beer festivals.

So did winter, spring and fall. When you’re 17 years old, look more like 13, live at home with your parents, and require divine intervention just to get served, the open air constantly beckons, especially those patches of isolated farmland belonging to people who don’t know or care that someone older had been recruited to score a few kegs of the cheapest swill possible, borrow the steel tubs otherwise used to water future beefsteak, and await the grapevine-laden onslaught of teenagers who’d learned there was a kegger taking place.

When it rained, we got wet – not the worst conceivable outcome in hot weather if any girls bothered to come, which was seldom. Some times, liquid consolation aside, it all worked out. Id insert Bob Seger’s “Night Moves” right about now, but to be honest, I never liked his music very much after “Katmandu,” which I heard for the first time at – where else? – an outdoor beer festival, with any beer you liked available for sampling so long as it was warm Falls City, and Seger’s tune blaring from the subpar radio of a car stuck in a muddy field littered with spent plastic cups.

Now I’m considerably older, and fake IDs no longer are needed for furtive liquor store visits, but warm-weather outdoor beer festivals remain on the must-do list of seasonal activities even if they bear no resemblance to those midsummer debacles, circa ’77.

Today’s outdoor beer festivals are devoted to craft beer, and they tend to follow a common template. As many different beers and breweries as possible are penciled in for duty. There’ll be brewers and beer sales representatives around to explain the choices offered. Your festival entry fee will cover numerous, if not always unlimited, small samples of these many beers, not full pours.

Food will be vended, usually on an a la carte basis, and musical entertainment provided. The latter tends toward the rock, pop, blues and bluegrass spectrum, although some sweet day I’d love to hear a string quartet performing modern compositions or a rocking Klezmer band.

Outdoor craft beer festivals are designed to expand the category through heightened consciousness and increased business for pubs, package stores and breweries, yet almost all such events support a chosen charity or commensurate good cause with a portion of its proceeds.

There also are special entry prices and terms of engagement for designated drivers, all of which goes to show that beer consciousness without social consciousness is little more than the ingestion of alcohol, as recounted in the opening paragraphs of this essay.

Last weekend, local beer aficionados had two summertime outdoor beer fests to choose from – and several hundred did just that.

On Saturday, Keg Liquors (617 Lewis and Clark Parkway, Clarksville) staged its fourth annual Fest of Ale at a new, nearby location, a field (!) behind St. Anthony’s of Padua Catholic Church. Twenty-three hours later, the inaugural Great Flanagan’s Beer Festival took the urban approach, with a half-block of Morton Avenue closed off adjacent to Flanagan’s Ale House (934 Baxter Ave., Louisville). Fest of Ale raised money for the Crusade for Children, and Pints for Prostates benefitted from the Flanagan’s gathering.

Discerning enthusiasts had great weather and eye-popping choices spanning the range of good beer, including local breweries, regional micros and selected imports. Numerous beer reps and industry people attended, and the knowledge level of tableside discussion was impressive and heartening.

Considering tighter times, was it a good idea to book two beer festivals on consecutive days? At first I doubted it, but based on conversations with the participating breweries, beer reps and wholesalers, I’ve changed my tune. The sponsors are different, and so are the crowds they draw. Most importantly, out-of-town beer reps get two promotional opportunities during one road trip, and that’s an enticement.

How about a discounted ticket for both festivals, with entry to another Saturday night “after party” thrown in for good measure? The after-party might even attract the most interesting man in the world, although in truth, I never once saw him at White Castle after one of our high school keggers.

A visit to Rocky's in LEO.

I'm just glad I'm not the one cleaning those 100-ft long draft lines!

Mug Shots: Rocky’s returns to its superb beer-list roots.