Showing posts with label imaginary things. Show all posts
Showing posts with label imaginary things. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

What's on draft in my head at the Expendables Bar & Grill.

Totnes UK, 2013.

People keep asking me if I intend to get back into the pub game. It seems unlikely, though one shouldn’t ever say never.

An old friend of mine is a chef, and recently he decided to step away for a bit. I was joking with him: “You do the food, I’ll do the beer, we’ll use someone else’s money to get started, and it’ll be called Expendables Bar and Grill.”

Make no mistake: “Someone else’s money” is the single most important part of the equation.

But just like anyone, I daydream.

What if I could get back to the beginning, have another place, and just fill six taps? Few bells, limited whistles; none of the constant rotation and chest-thumping, but bread and butter for people who like it that way.

Working under the assumption that I'd buy beer, drink beer and sell what’s left – it worked that way during the formative period of the Public House – what would I put on draft as my ideal lineup?

Today’s answer is three lagers, three ales. Tomorrow's could be different.

Except for the IPA, they all fall in the range of 5% abv, which is a tad high to suit my session beer fixation, except one thing already is certain: I’ll be drinking a lot of that 4% Bitter.

Ideally, there’d be an Indiana brewery on hand to brew some of these to spec. I know one that needs the work …

Here the are:

LAGER

Kellerbier ... an earthy, golden lager like St. Georgenbrau in Buttenheim.

Rauchbier ... more in keeping with Spezial than Schlenkerla, but let’s not be picky. Either model works.

Schwarzbier … it needn’t be stronger than 4.5%

ALE

Ordinary Bitter or Best Bitter … surely someone close to New Albany can make a reasonably authentic English interpretation, right?

Dry Stout … Guinness still appeals to me, though I’ll need a clever escape clause for my “death to multinationals” mantra.

IPA … something like Daredevil Lift Off IPA works just fine, and so would West Sixth IPA. I like them both quite a lot.

What about Belgians? Well, most of the ones I like are better served from bottles, anyway, as are higher gravity beers, so that’s how we’ll treat those. A few classics go a long way. Seeing as my wife likes Hefeweizen, and I won’t be home as much, one of them makes the cut, too.

I have other draft lineup fantasies, like the one with a brewpub-scale brewery producing only historic American styles:

Pre-Prohibition Pilsner
Colonial Dark Ale (or Porter, with molasses)
“Steam” 
Kentucky Komon
American Pale Ale
Cream Ale
Bock (in springtime)

If you have a pot of money somewhere and would like to fund a start-up within walking distance of my house, let me know … and I’ll give Chef Joe a call.