Monday, June 09, 2014

The PC: Merlot? Sorry, it isn't IPA, either.

The PC: Merlot? Sorry, it isn't IPA, either.

A weekly web column by Roger A. Baylor.

The German Café has moved from Paoli to French Lick, and a few weeks ago, we traversed the pastoral Southern Indiana countryside and visited the new location, situated opposite the casino in a much larger, altogether nicer space than before.

As I’ve noted previously, there’s a restaurant just like the German Café in the middle of most German towns and hamlets. Whether in French Lick or Memmelsdorf, the food is hearty, the price mid-range, and the vibe community-oriented. Naturally, there’ll be beer, though not necessarily an enthusiast’s dream lineup; just good beers to accompany the pork and dumplings.

The revamped German Café has three draft handles in addition to the smallish bottle list from its Paoli times. On the day of my visit there was Beck’s on tap (who knew it still exists?) along with two wheat ales: Weihenstephaner and Franziskaner Dunkel. Given that I hadn’t had hefeweizen for the longest time, Weihenstephaner was my choice. It was tasty, indeed.

On the one hand, the consultant in me would love to swap the Beck’s at German Café for Hofbrau, and to substitute a schwarzbier (black lager) for the Franziskaner; still, letting loose of my hoary prejudices and going with the prevailing flow by drinking Weihenstephaner proved to be unexpectedly pleasurable, and it tasted great with my zigeuner schnitzel and sauerkraut.

It had been a while between hefeweizens. Why so long?

Probably I’d permitted myself to be scarred by those timid Public House customers of old who refused to try anything different, and invariably insisted on hefeweizen. At the time, my disgust with their fear became manifested by my own rejection of hefeweizen, but in the present age there is no reason for me to take it out on myself, and anyway, times have changed since then. These days, it’s the hopheads, not the wheat-kneed, who are supremely annoying by virtue of their monocultural fixations.

One must change with the times. First, is the following a dream sequence, or real life?

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I couldn’t help noticing that you’re making funny faces. Is there a problem with your beer?

You bet there’s a problem. This beer is absolutely terrible. Worst ever. Your lines are dirty. Yuck. I’ll be giving it to you good on RateAdvocate.

(The bartender pours a bit from the tap, smells it, and takes a taste.)

Sorry, but it tastes fine. I’m not getting any “off” flavors or aromas.

Oh, it’s “off” all right. Where are the hops? I can’t taste any hops at all!

Possibly, that’s because it’s a hefeweizen.

That’s exactly what I’m trying to tell you! This beer you just sold me isn’t an IPA! Didn’t think I could tell, did ya?

Of course it isn’t an IPA. It’s the one you chose from the beer list. It’s a German wheat ale.

So what? I wasn’t born yesterday.

You see, that’s a particular style of beer. Knowing the style gives you information about the beer’s flavor. It’s like when you have children, and you give each of them a different name so you can tell them apart.

Whatever. Who has time for that? You guys have really slipped. I remember when this place used to care about beer, now this beer with no hops. I’ve been coming here for five years, dude. So, tell me this: If it isn’t an IPA, then why isn’t it sour, huh?

It isn’t supposed to be. In classical terms, Berliner Weisse is sour, not German-style wheat ale.

It just proves that those other breweries are way better than yours. I’m going to say so on Untappd.

Feel free, and if you like, I can give you directions to those other breweries. That’ll be $6.75, sir. Have a nice evening.

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Although I’ve ground my teeth to the nub through variants of the preceding dialogue during the course of “discussing” beer at on-line geek sandboxes, the episode is entirely fictitious.

Once upon a time, I was grappling with well-meaning folks who knew nothing about beer, but at least didn’t pretend to, while nowadays, everyone’s an expert – except the knowledge level hasn’t really changed, and all too often, this inability to grasp objectivity – this failure to know the difference between personal preference and value judgments based on shared criteria – irreparably taints the various ratings measurements, thus corrupting an already tottering system of snobbery promotion.

Surely it’s better than all that, isn’t it?

Sorry, but I’m not sure. If you’ll accept only one face of beer, whether light lager, German wheat or IPA, you’re missing a universal point about the brewing revolution. What's more, solipsism is a poor substitute for style consciousness.

Meanwhile, if you’re like me and perpetually inclined to contrarianism, merely kick back and revel in the shifting perspectives. I never thought I’d be divulging it, but the summer forecast for 2014 is for me to drink more hefeweizens than previously predicted.

In fact, it may be time for a grand hefeweizen tasting … maybe even at the German Café?

So, who's in?

3 comments:

Unknown said...

I hear ya... my problem is there is not nearly enough time and money to get to all the good beer being made everywhere!

Unknown said...

I've almost completely given up on IPAs, though it's difficult. I've really enjoyed exploring basic pale ales, bitters, and ambers.

The New Albanian said...

I still like IPAs, but so many of them taste so alike that in honesty, it's boring. Last year in the UK altered my thinking; it encouraged me to re-embrace subtlety.