Plymouth pub landlord lays down the law for "once-a-year" Christmas drinkers.

A man very much after my own heart. Initially I passed over this article, until I noticed the reference to Plymouth, where we spent a fair amount of time in 2009 and 2013. That said, I don't recall having a pint at the Stoke Inn. I wish I had done so.

Don't order cranberry juice and hot girls get served first: Pub landlord posts hilarious list of rules for once-a-year Christmas drinkers to abide by in his bar, by Luke Salkeld (Daily Mail)

It's supposed to be the season of goodwill – but it seems no one has told one curmudgeonly landlord who has laid down the law to festive drinkers.

Steve Bowen claims his bar is plagued by Christmas revellers who are clueless about pub etiquette. So in a tongue-in-cheek attempt to remedy the situation, he has drawn up a list of rules directed at the kind of 'awful human beings who buy their beer from supermarkets'.

Hit the link and read the entire piece. I'll feature just two of Bowen's rules.

HOT GIRLS GET SERVED FIRST
* Welcome to Western Civilization.

PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT
* If an old bloke sat at the bar gets served before you do, and the bartender knows him by name and even seems to know what he's drinking before he orders it - that's Bob. Bob drinks here all the time. Bob drinks here five times a week, every week. Bob's custom pays the bills. Bob and the other Regulars keep the pub open eleven months of the year whilst you're having dinner parties and bulk-buying booze from the supermarket. Yes, they get preferential treatment. Accept it.