I've got your green beer on St. Patrick's Day.

I read it once a year, dissolve into laughter, and stay home throughout the day.

Just in time for the holiday: "Erin Go Blah" (a reprint).

Publican's note: "Bar" none, this commentary on the St. Patrick's Day holiday, originally written by bartender Chris Halleron some years back for the “Hot Trub” e-newsletter, is the best I've ever read. Permission to reprint has been provided by the author.

Recently a friend asked if I was free to do something on St. Patrick's Day, but I explained that asking a bartender to take that day off is like asking an accountant to blow off work on April 14. It is the busy season for bartenders, when we get to see all those cheapskate rookies who haven't spent a dime in the bar since they threw up in the corner on New Year's Eve but now decide to poke their heads out of their holes and celebrate the Feast of St. Patrick.